It’s been pouring and t-storming, so all the plants are bursting out!  I spent yesterday cleaning and cooking : Indian chicken and vegetables, saffron basmati, fried homegrown (frozen) okra and jalapeños, and all the Pesach “fixin’s” and seder plate.  It came out really nicely.  Loucious was less impressed, because I wouldn’t play much frisbee with him out in the puddles!  But he got over it at dinnertime!

We had a full house, including Jess.  She and I got appropriately schnockered.  The kids (except K, who felt sick) seemed to have a good time, especially since we didn’t go through the whole ordeal.  Y couldn’t get enough of my award-winning charoset, because it’s simply the best.  Or maybe it was because it was schnockered as well, as I conveniently neglected to mention!  The kids like matzah, too.

Avdi and Jess insisted I get a ride home or stay, so he drove me home.  If the rain holds off until later, I may walk over, and start up all over again.  Tonight’s meal will be a little more traditional, with matzah balls in homemade chicken soup, potato latkes, and possibly the first ever asparagus from the garden!

As you can see, the bluebell drifts (and other ephemerals) are spectacular this year; I can’t get enough.  It looks like many of the flowers I planted are germinating, and the veg garden is starting to take off after the rain.  I’m hoping the “wetland” natives along the “woods edge” will do the same.  I have a good feeling about this growing season.

After all that denial, I managed to prep most of the foods for two evenings of Pesach in one day, with time left to lounge on the patio basking in the gorgeous spring evening with Loucious in his leaf pile.  I felt pretty accomplished.  It won’t be the conventional two seders and a banquet, but it will feature the basic symbolism and spirit of the holiday.  No one would have the time and energy right now to endure the whole Haggadah anyway, and my charoset is still the best (after it gets more schnockered).  What more can you want?

Eco-purists will have to bear with me on this one, because it features premature raking of huge piles of leaves to prepare for, gasp, grass-reseeding.  I know, but it has to be done.  I’m not the owner or renter.  And there are kids and a dog.

To my credit, I never bag, burn, or shred leaves while there may still be beneficial critters involved.  I relocate them all to areas that can use more leaf mulch, or the compost pile.  Nothing gets wasted.

Loucious loves leaf piles.  No sooner had I raked them into neat mountains, than he dove into them with his frisbee and proceeded to bury and unbury it and himself, undoing the pile in the process!  It was hilarious.

I also worked on cleaning up some of the beds that needed help so the new seedlings could find the surface.  As it gets closer to the last frost date, I’ve been direct-sowing hardy flowers into various beds.

I keep finding new ephemerals coming up, like yellow bellwort, white trout lily, spring beauty, solomon’s seal, mayapple, wild ginger, and many more.  Each one is exciting.  Of course my favorite is bluebells.  Ephemerals by definition are impermanent, so you love them while you can, but can’t hold on.  Again, thank you to the people who came before us and had this vision of habitat conservation.

There are also some noxious exotic invasives that are really taking over this year, but (again, purists look away) it’s not for me to kill myself trying and failing to eradicate them.  Some things must be put up with.  (Metaphor alert!)

Speaking of compromises, as you probably guessed, at the last minute I decided to at least attempt to honor Pesach with a couple of festive dinners and seder plate symbolisms.  I must if nothing else uphold my reigning charoset world title.  So off I go to make up for lost time.

This is how my mind works: the instant I got done publishing that confession, I started one of my infamous lists, this one for Pesach ingredients!  Not the whole Megillah, you should pardon the mixed metaphor, just the basics.  I’m talking extreme minimalism.  Not even kosher for ’26 matzah, because it’s hard to find nearby.  Just very broadly symbolic items for a seder plate and simple meals.  Probably no one will come, but it’s the intention that counts!

Also, I suspect most of the world doesn’t have the luxury or privilege of overpriced indulgences, or for that matter, even a roof under which to prepare lavish feasts, so why should we be pretentious?  If “slaves in Egypt” turns out to be a myth, then it’s all just symbolism, which ought to reflect real conditions, not affluence.  Also, I refuse to support any Israeli exporters.  Our Pesach meals might look more like Gaza refugees’ under Israeli terrorism, but that would be much more appropriate, IMHO.

So I lied?  No, I just rethought the matter, and decided I could easily do a short list and volunteer to make dinner those nights, which often happens anyway.  Just make it more festive and meaningful for whomever is able to be there.  No seder plans, just the basics, unless someone wants to do it.  So that’s where I’m at this moment.  Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion…

I think I need to be honest about Pesach this year.  I have a feeling that if I don’t say something, it could easily just slide by us and not even come up until too late.  And maybe I’d be responsible for that, because I kind of let it happen, but not because of laziness or apathy.

Normally I’d have been preparing for weeks, cleaning, switching out foods, and planning meals, with Avdi’s help, at least to the extent we observe it.  Instead, I’ve hesitated to even bring it up, one more demand on an already strained and overworked situation.  Avdi has too much to deal with right now to even think about it, talk about it, or be present for it, and the kids, similarly, are spread thin in every direction as it is, even for our minimal weekly Shabbat observance.

Maybe it’s not for me to decide how others may feel about it, but I sense the decision has already unintentionally made by reality.  And anyway, for whatever reasons, I’ve let it go too long to race to catch up by April 1st.  My conditioning makes me feel guilty and delinquent about this, and if I said nothing to address it until it came and went, I might indeed be responsible for letting people down, even if they’re too distracted to notice or to look forward to it.

I know this is unheard of for me, the first time in years Pesach may not happen, whether in spirit or practice, because I let it slide.  Partly, there hasn’t been an opportunity to even bring up the subject and all it entails, and also, for what it’s worth, I confess I’ve been feeling exhausted and not as up to it as before.  It is a lot, even if you have energy or don’t strictly observe the law or customs.  I’m just being honest and realistic here.  No one who matters is around to judge me or us, but I think I owe my son an apology, not excuses.

Of all years, this one ought to be the one we gather in community and solidarity against the evil forces afflicting our country and world, and remember that this too won’t last forever.  The current state of things has all of us tied up in knots trying to survive and protect the health and safety of our families and each other.  It’s hard to even find time to relax and celebrate.  It’s more like a precarious vigil all the time.  Not to mention affording it all and staying viable, avoiding the tipping point where it isn’t anymore.

So maybe this year is the exception, where the spirit of the holiday outweighs the extra stress it can cause to observe it.  Much about these times (“these latter days”) is exceptional and deviant.  I hope I can be forgiven.

Today reached 94º.  Tomorrow will be in the 40s and 50s.  Ephemerals are just blooming or unfurling, but it feels like summer.  They must be so confused.  I found one trout lily today!

I prepped and seeded more beds today, with perennials, natives, and an herb.  I got Y’s rock garden cleaned up and ready to get some part shade wildflowers.  Every bed has little mystery seedlings coming up.  Still no sign of the woods edge natives that I planted last fall, but I still have hope.

Loucious had a lot of fun diving at the hose sprayer.  He’s obsessed!  He and I were soaked.  It turns out he’s also a fire-howler!  Fire trucks with sirens going by set him to bellowing.  It was the funniest sound.

I think it reached 80º today, and tomorrow is supposed to be 90º.  But if that’s too much, other days are 60s and 50s.

I was briefly carless, as I had to drop the car off for maintenance (Jess picked me up and delivered me to Avdi’s, then the reverse in the evening).  It didn’t really affect me, but it felt weird.

L and I were in the garden all day.  Now he’s obsessed with biting the hose spray!  The poor thing looked so soggy and stringy, but he was in water heaven, and it was warm enough to just bask dry, which he did on the back porch, newly cleaned by me for just such a purpose.

I had a brilliant idea!  I’ll plant mixed CA poppies in with the prickly pear!  A desert bed!  The asparagus next to it is sending up new spears, so it didn’t freeze to death after all.

The masses of bluebells are all budding out in pink and blue!  It’s so exciting.  I replaced the low border fencing along the edge of that woodsy area, to hopefully discourage the kids from letting the frisbee and dog smash into the flowers.  They couldn’t understand what the problem was!  I’m not sure they even notice flowers or understand plants coming up.

The peas and most of the cool-weather (?) veggies are starting to come up.  Every day I notice more flower shoots and seedlings appearing; I can’t even remember all the things I planted last year!  I’m happy to report the lilacs that made it are doing well.  Also the redbuds are partially recovering from the freeze and reblooming.

I prepped sections surrounding the veg garden for Y to plant his flower seedlings (which did turn out to be my flower seeds, but that’s a whole other story).

Another whole story is about the world threatening to nuke itself to death for no reason (sound familiar?), but that can hopefully hold off for another day.

We have a water dog!  He discovered the hose and went bonkers trying to bite the water!  He looked so bedraggled but happy!  He will have fun this summer.  Which it may already be, as of tomorrow.

Today was still cool and pleasant, perfect for getting more done (besides frisbee).  I planted various flower seeds in various places, front and back, cleaning a little as I went, and raking leaves to serve as mulch elsewhere.

So many flowers and plants are coming up; every day I discover more of my work paid off.  The bluebells (can’t take much credit) are really taking off.  The mayapple and wild ginger buds are so adorable when they first show.  The dutchman’s breeches started to bloom today!

Y was out back sanding down his desk and painting it (and indulging L with the hose and frisbee).  Y can be very industrious and creative when feeling motivated.  K was also industriously making her great chili and rice for dinner.  E is back to being back and forth, businesslike, but I’m sure that Euro trip changed his outlook and perspective.

Today was more like a typical early spring day, conducive to getting a lot (of frisbee) done outside.

I got the compost area more organized, then raked and dumped leaves there.

I hoed the strip around the veg garden, except where flowers may be coming back.  I was feeling very accomplished.

Then I went to get the flower seeds I intended to plant now, and discovered somebody had gotten into them, unsealed new ones that I was intending to use at the right times and locations, and apparently did something with some of them.

I was pretty upset and angry (to myself), which I rarely get anymore.  I confided my thoughts on the subject to Loucious, who barked his concern.  No one to my knowledge has ever presumed to take seeds without permission.  It was always my personal dedicated stash in a basement corner, for specific garden projects.

I felt like the one special thing I’ve got there to contribute, a gardener calling, was violated.  I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, but it still felt inconsiderate.  I guess I shouldn’t be so attached to that role; I don’t even really live there.  One day I won’t even be around to care.  I’ll get over it eventually.  Still.  Grr argh.

After that, I halfheartedly sowed a few mixed flower seeds in the small square bed on the back porch, not the ones I had intended, and then gave it up.  Maybe another day I’ll get back to it.

Yesterday was in the high 80s, and today was in the low 90s!  Then it got windy and started to cool down, and tomorrow is supposed to be back to 50s/30s.  Don’t try to figure it out.  I just take advantage of it.  Loucious got a lot of frisbee in.

I spent yesterday, overnight, and today getting lots done.  It looks as if I just moved leaves from one place to another!   I do actually have a plan.  I cleared out some beds and roped them off, and I filled in other areas that needed leaf mulch.  No leaves will go to waste!  Whatever I don’t use will go in a leaf pile on the compost pad, to add to the bin.  There will be a pile of sticks, a pile of leaves, and the remainder of the compost soil to be used in the garden.

E came back from Europe this evening!  Loucious was delirious with excitation to see him.  E brought back all kinds of souvenirs and stories.  I now own a decorative Greek phallic keychain and a small rock from the Acropolis!  Our charcuterie/meeting was brief, but felt more like normal.

I actually slept last night, but the dreams were more intense and surreal than ever.  My mind is obviously trying to sort things out from my past while it’s still functioning.  It’s like doing psychedelics in my sleep.

I love how the bluebells and Jacob’s ladder are filling in that whole area of the woodsy edge.  It’s going to burst into masses of purple, blue, and lavender any day now.  Also, I’m calling it the year of the violets–they’re blooming everywhere.