Let me rephrase that last post: when my head stops spinning like a dreidel, we’ll go get supplies for our raised bed. I woke up very dizzy for no apparent reason, and I don’t mean just my usual ditz-brain.
Which reminds me how fortunate I am to be ‘retired’, though it wasn’t my first choice, and doesn’t pay much. It makes me think of all the hard-working mothers with children clamoring, and jobs to be done, who don’t get any relief just because they’re exhausted and don’t feel well. It brings to mind all the tired working poor, who don’t dare take a sick day, if they even have those, which many don’t.
I’m very lucky to have a roof over my head, a friend with whom to share daily and future pursuits, a garden to keep me off the streets, and a family that is still speaking to me! I’m very fortunate to not be in a caregiver role for the moment, a state that many of us don’t get to choose or opt out of.
Caregivers don’t get to take a day off to be sick or take care of themselves. I was headed for the fate of many caregivers, total exhaustion or worse, but was granted a reprieve to recover some balance before it was too late. I was lucky to have brothers who were able to step in and take some of the load. Not everyone has family who can or will get involved.
I anticipate assisting with more caregiving roles in the future, but it will be by choice and intention, not by coercion and pressure. Likewise, I resist being in the “caregivee” role, because I’ve been on the other end, and can’t bear to put anyone else in that position, especially someone I love and care about. I know how all the “giving” can eventually drain all the “caring”, if it was even there to begin with. I believe that mutual respect and care is to be earned, not forced or presumed. Children are not for the sole purpose of providing long-term care insurance. In my humble opinion.
As I told E, mostly this blahg is for the purpose of daily writing practice, whether anyone else reads it or not. If you do, it’s a bonus, which I appreciate. Please feel free to give feedback on either content or style; it helps me improve. We may or may never write our book, but if/when the time comes, somebody’s got to do the actual writing and proofreading, and that would be me. There’s certainly more than a book’s worth of material, just not the wherewithal to articulate it.
Well, back to spinning.