Last night Avdi brought me a plate of Shabbat dinner, made by Stacey, K/S, and N.  It was stir-fry veg, chicken, rice, fresh fruit salad, and challah, and it was excellent.  We walked outside to see the huge colorful full moon (waning) behind trees.  It was the first time I’ve been out of my apt since the surgery.

Today is Jess’s birthday.  Happy Birthday Jess!  I think they might be starting to notice my absence, at least in little things like the coffee set up the night before!

This rest was just what the doctor ordered.  (Literally, he ordered it!)  I’m getting all the sleep I need, and being forced to not put my surgery at risk.  I can’t wait to see the improvement, once both eyes are done.  Soon I’ll be all synthetically enhanced!

I’m not even worrying about the garden.  This came at just the right timing, between seasons.  There will be plenty for me to do when I get back out.  It’s the indoors I’m not looking forward to!

I’m very grateful for all the material help with medical expenses and food, and for our extended family stepping in to cover all the bases.

Even if I could have seen the blood moon, I was too “under” the influence of drugs to stay awake.  I’ve seen many extraordinary moons hanging in Ohio’s big skies, so I’m good.  In fact, I saw a blood moon partial eclipse on this exact date in 2015.  I hope this one is an auspicious sign.

Is it just the time of year, or did the light seem particularly clear and white this morning?   Am I imagining that I can see more distinctly with my left eye than before, or that the light is cooler?  Something’s different.

Stacey and the kids are graciously taking over erev Shabbat preps this evening, amid all their other responsibilities.  I like that others are willing and able to do that.

As for me, I needed a medical excuse to not be able to do much of anything for a few days.  If I could even get there, I’d be more in the way than anything.  I’m sure I’ll have plenty to do to make up for my absence once I get back.

Here’s an eyeball, c. 2024.

It was a hyper-efficient assembly line.  They have this surgery down to such a hi-tech science that they crank patients in and out by the herds every few minutes, starting before dawn.  It’s like an eye deli.  Take a number.  Left or right?  You’re in, you’re out, next!  (Though not surly, just businesslike.)

The most time-consuming part is not the waiting, but coming out of the stupor of the not-even-twilight zone; they say they have to keep you awake enough to respond to directions(?).  If they say so!  I wonder what I did in there?!

I remember being wheeled on a bed from pre-op, all tubed and wired up, into the bright room with the equipment and various technicians, waiting for the relaxing sedative to kick in, when supposedly the doc whizzed in and out at some point like the roadrunner (too fast to see), then I was lying in recovery, feeling like a stupid stoned person after tripping.  To my credit (or preparedness), I never said the famous words, “when are we doing the operation?”!  I had been primed for the part.

There wasn’t any pain, just mild discomfort from the millions of different eyedrops before and after.  Mostly I was parched from having fasted, including liquids, since midnight; all I could think about was water!  I know I said some weird things as I wandered   loopily out with my driver’s help.

At the Dr’s office post-op (different location), I was in loopy company with many of the same patients from the surgery, or their spouses.  It was kind of humorous, everyone recounting the same strange experience!  We fruit loops all had the same dorky disposable sunglasses, like some aging blues brothers, wearing the same dopey zombie look, like produce.

So I wobbled from the driver’s car to my bed, via water, meds, and break-fast of sorts, and picked up from where I was so rudely awakened.  I have to wear a colander-looking thing taped over my left eye to protect it when I lie down, being careful to always keep my eye above my heart.  No bending, no lifting, no getting it wet in the shower, basically no nothing, but still with the endless assorted eyedrops.  An enforced vacation.  Woe is me.  But I’ll be back soon– and then do it all over again!

I keep thinking there’s something caught in my eye, but it’s probably just the new fake lens stitches or whatever.  Routine factory byproduct.  Nothing to see here!!

I’ve been virtually ghosted.  Spooky.  Is it something I said?  Sensitive!

I got a lot of weeding of various beds done.  Word to the wise: never plant native green dragon, it’s extremely aggressive.  Or, if you need a permanent native shade ground cover that will crowd out everything else, plant green dragon!  It will take over the earth.

The kids seem to have survived their first day at schools.  Although predictably, Y almost didn’t go back today, but got persuaded.

I think fake fall lasted one day, then went back to hot!  It didn’t fake me out for a second.

Tomorrow, butt-crack of dawn, is my first eye surgery.  Wish me sight!

Did I scare you off?  I guess you’ll miss all the excitement yet to come!  Your loss!

I started preps for my first surgery yesterday–three different eye drops, three times a day, for seven days (pre- and post-).

It was nice out, and in the evening it rained, no doubt because I watered!  I wanted to get the garden prepped for my absence.  I also repotted the cactuses.  All my native tree seedlings are rooting well, for planting “the forest”!

Flowers are blooming, reblooming, and about to bloom.  It will be very flowery when I get back from recovery.  I noticed there are lots of pipevine caterpillars on the Dutchman’s pipe vines.  They will become beautiful blue-black swallowtail butterflies with orange/red spots.

Today is the first day of school.  Yesterday Stacey and SQ practice-walked the route from Hixson MS to Avdi’s, since he’ll be doing that every day.  It went without a hitch.

It was very quiet, with that impending feeling of the unknown school year ahead.  A year of firsts: Y starting HS, SQ starting MS, and K/S graduating next year.  E/N practiced driving with Avdi, and is predictably on top of it.  (Just N from now on.)  The two oldest kids want to move to Europe/Scandinavia as soon as they can.

Hopefully this will be a year of good changes for all of us.

In the last few days, we had: K/S’s 18th birthday celebration at Avdi’s, U of Michigan School of Social Work Graduation (virtual) Watch Party at Stacey’s, and lots in between.

For erev, Stacey baked the challot, I made an Indian dinner, and Jess brought a cheesecake for K/S.  J&C joined us.

N (E) baked a cake for Stacey’s grad.  Avdi gave her a very nice Irish whiskey.  We watched the whole ceremony, they read out Stacey’s name and Master’s creds, and she turned the tassel!  The dog and cat sat around posing cutely or sleeping.

I was finally persuaded to get in the pool with Stacey and SQ.  That was after weeding the whole veg garden.  N used the wood shredder to make a mulch for around the pool.

Y stayed out of things as usual, and had friends over.

Stacey and I got to talk shop about her garden plans.  Yay, someone else who likes gardening to talk to!  I have to restrain myself and let her design her own garden.

The spirits of the universe gave us a “new” sofa!

I wonder if my readership of 2.5 are all 30-somethings living off their parents, because they all disappeared right about then!  I’m not taking it down though, because it’s still my opinion, even if the inspiring parties went and got jobs!  It’s my blahg and I’ll whine if I want to.

I’m excited because my native mist flower plants are blooming (blue)!  They look like a large native version of annual ageratum, thus they’re also called wild ageratum, or blue boneset because they look like a blue version of the white boneset that starts to bloom around now.

Today is K/S’s birthday–she’s 18!!  I have an adult Gkid!  Of course it just means she has obligations but not rights.  Still, a major milestone.  K/S herself insisted on baking her special cheesecake.  Naturally she’s still sleeping at 3PM!

It doesn’t slow down the daily revolving door and shuttle service.  Avdi, Stacey, and Jess take turns.  Sometimes I get let off the hook, as in the other day when Y decided at the last minute not to go to his salon appointment.  It was both annoying and a relief!

On top of schlepping kids to and from orientations, meetings, therapies, rehearsals, shopping, etc., Stacey actually volunteered to bake the challot for this evening!  That took a load off.  I’m making an Indian meal, including lots of garden veggies.

Avdi’s couch bit the dust–it literally collapsed from all the kid action.  We go through a lot of furnishings.  Maybe we need military/industrial strength.

Lots of good news in the Village today: J got the job, and Stacey passed her board exams!  Auspicious!  J&C are one step closer to being able to move to their own place, and Stacey is qualified and credentialed for her profession.  Things are falling into place.

All the kids and parents are busy with school orientations and open houses.  Three kids are now at WGHS, Y for the first time.  SQ is starting at Hixson Middle.  Fingers crossed that all goes smoothly.

I’m systematically ticking off the payments I have to make this pay period, which were extra complicated this month, like a 12-stepper, or a Rubik’s Cube.  Thankfully, I got some help from Jess and Avdi for food and surgery.

It’s still too humid and mosquitoey to work outside much, but I did manage to get this monarch (I think?) who was so busy at the silphium flowers that it let me get close.  There were all kinds of other pollinators on them.

I have to say the zucchini is succeeding this summer.  Every time we go out, there are a couple more ready.  And the larger tomatoes are doing well this year.  There are volunteer gourds everywhere, including hanging from fences.  There are more okra than we could ever eat, but I mainly grow them for the flowers and ornamental appeal.

More flowers continue to come up and bloom.  Except sunflowers and lupines, for some reason.

Update: I have weeded about 1/3 of the veg garden now.  All I found under there were a few beets, a few red chard, a whole big row of leeks, a couple of tomato volunteers and not much else.

Sweet Autumn clematis vines are draping white flowers all over the tops of everything.  Other autumn natives are starting to bloom white.  Soon there will be masses of goldenrod and asters in pastel colors.

Just be glad I didn’t do the teen rant!  I let you off the hook for now.

On a lighter note, it t-stormed and rained a lot last night, which only made the humidity and mosquitos worse!  I managed to get a few photos before being punctured to death.  Late summer flowers are starting to bloom.

Whereas I’m slowly fading from lack of sleep.

This is not quite a rant–more a blahgologue, if you will– about kids– the grownup kind.

Teens have somewhat of an excuse for being selfish, rude, manipulative, and ungrateful, because they’re still developing and learning how to be a human being, not just a black hole of neediness.  The trick is to eventually age out of it.  It’s just aggravating while we have to put up with it.

This is the kind with no excuse for still being a self-centered dependent at age 30+.  I don’t care what neuro- and other disorders you have.  Even an autistic kid can be taught appropriate behaviors and functions, if not attitudes, for their own benefit.

But when you’re a 30-something kid with a partner, still living off your parent, taking over her space, using ridiculous rates of utilities and assuming she’ll pay for it, leaving the house a mess, disregarding her property and boundaries, neglecting her pets’ basic needs, and then feeling imposed upon for having to share expenses and responsibilities, you’re being parasitic.  Time to get a job and place to live, so you can learn once and for all how unviable and unaffordable your lifestyle is for your parent.  If that makes you mad, so be it.

The real concern is a parent afraid she’ll hurt the relationship by intervening or having expectations.  So the enabling continues, which hurts the grown kid and relationship more in the long run.  These are kids who are functional and capable of working and living on their own.  It’s just more convenient and less stressful for them to keep imposing upon the parent.

This is not a hypothetical situation, obviously.  If it sounds familiar, it is.  It’s just my untrained but observational opinion.  It’s also based on my experience of being on both sides of that equation.  It’s not an easy transition for either party, but it’s totally necessary for the mental health of both.

In other news, here’s the bunny that lives in our garden.  He/she is pretty tame, so I talk to it while I’m gardening, and it sits there.  It’s only my camera that can’t get close up.