Crack Fox

This is one of Avdi’s favorite haunts when he gets to go out.  Last night he invited me to go with him.  I really enjoyed getting out for the first time in forever.  Last night’s themes were Goth/The Crow upstairs and DJ house dance music downstairs.  We ended up mostly downstairs–much more energy and interactive.  I just sat soaking it all up (including a couple of drinks).  There were lots of colorful characters to watch!  It felt very inclusive and friendly.  It was a good distraction from reality.


Walking With a Ghost

Did I say 120 lbs?  I meant 119 and change!!  I walked to and from Avdi’s and barely ate.  I was going to stay overnight, but in a rare change of pace, Jess is going to kid-sit while Avdi and I go out clubbing at the Crack Fox !!  This should be interesting.  Thank you Jess!

It’s also considerate because I wasn’t doing well today.  I’m being haunted by a dead friend in my dreams, and it’s really getting to me.  Literally ghosted.  Profoundly sad.  All I want to say about that is, don’t wait until someone who meant something to you is dead to see how they’re doing.  I really think I need a person, but it’s too late.

The kids have decided cicadas are their new pets!  They walk around with their creepy new friends on them.  Ugh!  They even set up a terrarium (for them to die in)!  I’m glad cicadas have some use.  Therapy?!  (There are no cicadas in the terrarium I made Y, pictured.)

Avdi finished treating the pool today and inducted himself into it.  A much-needed break.





Still Not in Debtor’s Prison…Yet

Medical bills keep piling in after I used up my coverage for the year.  So much for that insurance.  But I can’t afford to pay an even higher premium, or interest on a loan, however low.  I’m already in debt to my son for thousands of dollars, and putting off additional procedures until next year.

So this is how it begins.  What are they gonna do, throw me in debtor’s prison?  I guess I’ll just stop going to doctors and die before they get their money!  No mysterious rich nobility dies and leaves me a windfall, in this story.  Stupid American capitalist “healthcare”.

But wait—there is some good news on another front–I finally reached my goal of 120 lbs!  (120.5, to be exact.)  This is a day for celebration.  The last time I remember weighing 120, I was a young adult worrying I was gaining weight!  So this is a milestone for me.  At least I won’t be a Big Toothless Blob when I elude the system by dying before I repay my debts!

In more normal news, it was still raining (big surprise) at Avdi’s, but I managed to find the brief breaks in the deluge to walk there and back.  I did erev preps and the usual chores.  I even made a terrarium for Y.  The garden is a wet bog, so nothing to do there.  The flowers are loving it.  So are the baby robins, with all the baby food.



STL Monsoon Season

This has to be the wettest spring yet.  It pours, storms, and floods every day.  A dry sunny day is unusual.  The garden is literally drowning.  Every so often I run out there and do some soggy work before the clouds open up again.  That, along with the mass suicide of cicadas by the millions, and the happy mosquitoes, makes for a unique plaguey experience!

Yesterday I did manage to get a lot done in a brief rain intermission.  I prepped the tomato areas along the outside front of the veg garden, and transplanted the tiny seedlings.  I did the same with the peppers wherever onions are missing in their rows.  I weeded along the peas and cucumbers.  Hopefully all the rain will boost their growth.

Pretty much all the herbs and veggies are now planted (or replanted) outdoors, and just require constant tweaking and maintenance to make up for challenging conditions.  I’m using hydroponics and soil germination at home to replace a few of the casualties.

This is the one year anniversary (yahrzeit) of my mother’s death.



The Not-Raining B&B with Cicada Plague

Sunday was a highly successful B&B.  I kicked it off with “Space Dentist” IPA!  Familiar friends and new ones showed up and we all had a blast.  Lots of stimulating intergenerational conversations.  Avdi and the kids worked hard on cleaning and opening the pool.  E baked amazing brownie cupcakes.  We watched the mommy robin feed her babies.  It was a fun way to spend M-Day.  Even the historic cicada invasion made for some entertainment.  I was glad to be there.  Poor Avdi was exhausted.

In the evening a friend let me try one of her large edible gummies (wink, nod).  It was one of my first, and supposed to be mild.  Wow, it was almost like tripping.  Everyone assured me I was acting and talking normally, but I was somewhere off in the outer belt!  Time slowed down.  At one point I got so lightheaded, I was worried, but mostly sleepy.  My mouth got super-dry; in fact all my senses were heightened.  I didn’t get the munchies because I’d already done that.  I’m such a lightweight these days, I may have to refrain in the future, it was so intense.

I spent the night so Avdi could take Y to get their school award, while I made sure S did his school checklist and got on the bus.  Then I walked home and fell asleep for hours.  I was still slightly under the influence.  Then I ate more of my food delivery.  I feel like I experienced an actual weekend.



Feeding the Multitudes

I opted for the full Food Outreach delivery this time, just to see if I could handle it.  It was literally enough to feed a village!  And it will, because in order to fit it into my apartment, I “have to” share half of it with the [extended] family.  After all, I prepare and eat most of my meals at Avdi’s, so it works out for everyone that I’m a poor old cancer patient and qualify for nonprofit food assistance, if nothing else!

I did erev preps and the usual garden puttering.  Later I spent the night, so Avdi could get a much-needed evening out, then take E to a school award event in the morning.  I couldn’t sleep most of the night, so I was pretty tired, and limped home late morning to go back to bed.  But not before eating a healthy meal of veggies, fresh fruits, and tortellini.  Watch and learn, stupid fascist state that thinks I don’t deserve to eat!



Farming, with Benefits

Lately I’m being held together by essentially duct tape (athletic braces and tape) but I muddle through and get stuff done.  The walking round trip is getting harder, but at least the scenery is gorgeous, and I’m seriously losing weight now (made it to 121).  All the gardening and housework helps.  Speaking of which…

We actually got a break in the soggy weather yesterday; it was a cool, breezy, sunny day.  I transplanted the basils into the herb garden: Tulsi/holy, dark opal, Thai, Genovese, and sweet Italian.  That made A happy.  I moved the tiny tomato/pepper seedlings into the sun to hopefully get some growth on.  I weeded half the veg garden again, to find my reseeded rows coming up.  All the potatoes, corn, and beans are showing!  I cleaned up more areas of the jungly yard to reveal yet more beneficial perennials.  And lots of other misc. I can’t remember.

After my free food delivery this morning, much of which I’ll be able to share with the family, I’ll walk back over to do erev preps.  I don’t mind being tired, because I feel useful, and I owe Avdi big time.  And the benefits make it all worthwhile.



It may or may not be strong t-storms with possible T-word, but how is one to know around here when even the Weather hasn’t a clue?  Be that as it may, I didn’t want to risk being swept away or drowned, plus I was legit exhausted from my “job”, so I was very grateful for the day “off”.  I needed one.  (Apologies to Avdi, who never gets one and needs it way more.)

A day off means: resting my injured body parts; taking care of neglected banking and business; figuring out finances to pay off personal loans; actually sorting/cooking some of the free food handouts I’ve stockpiled; starting a family food care package;  potting/transplanting plants; answering letters I’ve put off; filing; and other procrastinations.  Again, thankful to recharge, and cognizant of those who don’t get that privilege.

I hope to be back on my feet (literally) and on the job tomorrow.  [cue loud thundery noises]






Post Tornado Siren Disorder [PTSD]

The middle of the night seems to be my writing time.  May as well use insomnia for something pseudo-creative.

Yesterday I eventually hobbled tiredly over to Avdi’s (with a minor knee injury from doing yard work) and did more work!  Everyone was sleep-deprived after those fun tornado sirens.  I brought the last of the seedling flats outside to harden off, and turned out the grow-lights downstairs.  With it pouring every day, I don’t have to worry much about watering.

E and I teamed up to make dinner.  Their air-fries are amazing.  Then I dragged myself home again.  The hundreds-of-years-old trees in Webster Groves are astounding.  I missed trees in Ohio.

I was so exhausted, I went to bed early, then couldn’t sleep!  So here I am.  It’s threatening to rain all afternoon and evening, so I may have to take a day off!



Why They Call It “Flyover”

OMG these gd@#$%f-ing tornado sirens in the middle of the night!!  How do these people live like this?!  I was just trying to go back to sleep after one of my nightly “long dark teatimes of the soul”, when multiple sirens howled on incessantly.  There wasn’t even a storm in sight at the moment.  When I realized the warning area wasn’t even local, I just crawled under the covers and tried to ignore it.  I wonder who’s behind the curtain diabolically pressing siren buttons at random hours to torture us.

In better news, we had our first greens harvest of the season for dinner yesterday!  And not just any micro-greens; these were large and substantial!  As it turned out, they may have been our only dinner, as Avdi’s main course was disappointingly not quite…right!   We all appear to have survived.  Between that and the maddening sirens in the middle of the night, it takes intestinal fortitude to make it to another day sometimes!  (JK, or am I?)  Avdi would concur.

Speaking of intestinal fortitude, I finally got up the nerve to clean up the downstairs bathroom.  For one moment it at least looked clean!  Being mechanically challenged, I didn’t go so far as to fix all the hardware, like the toilet seat falling off the toilet or the fixtures that have fallen off the walls; I leave that to whoever eventually gets to it.  I can’t do everything!  I can make a mean margarita, though.  Also, note the pride curtain for my little cubicle in the “dungeon”.

Well, back to it.