Remember back in the old days of yestermonth when I had time to think about incorporating good habits into my non-eventful life? Hahaha! A self-indulgence of the privileged! Who has time for such nonsense?
My life now is basically kid-sitting. I have a full routine of keeping tantrum levels down so Avdi can work and get things done. In between, there are dishes to wash, weeds to pull, food to prep, errands to run, and even occasionally getting a day off to take care of personal business and sleep. I have the easy end of the job.
I’m also learning to adapt to changing conditions. I’m OK with adjusting to a kid-sized mindset, or with being alone in my apartment. I’m being educated on how alien kid brains develop based on the way we deal with and model behavior. Kids are not just small adult humans. They’re much more like dogs, only with less impulse control and more chaos!
Sometimes I have time to snap a photo!
I walked over to Avdi’s and hung out with the kids while he worked. E and I harvested our first turnips, parsnips, rutabagas, carrots, and yellow squash! We all had takeout sushi for dinner. I put S to bed, and I’m spending the night.
I’m taking full advantage of my “days off” by just chilling, and getting a few things done. Mostly sleeping.
Now that I have the equivalent of a FT job (paid in food, drinks, and Q-time with gkids), I appreciate my down-time even more, while being more conscious of the fact that Avdi doesn’t get any days off or time-outs. Single-parenting, especially of neurodivergent kids, is an OT job on top of day jobs. You don’t get to relax or socialize or caregive yourself. It’s not the most rewarding job in the world. But it can be very enlightening!
My PCP social worker connected me to resources for transportation to medical appointments and other services, so that’s one of the things I’m working on. That way I can affordably get myself to doctors and specialists, even a grocery store, without having to cancel, reschedule, or beg for rides. The last thing I want to be is like one more “kid” to have to worry about.
Here are some more photos from the week.
I’m actually back at my apartment after an intensive week of ninja-care, cat-care, car-care, and reuniting with the next gkid. Jess and family got back from their getaway late last night, and will reclaim her car. Things are starting to settle down into the new normal at Avdi’s, and he even got some much-needed sleep. So I can take a step back for a day or two, and catch up on my own business. It will seem strange without Ninjago and swordplay in the background.
I’m glad I could play a small part in the kids’ transition to living here full-time. S now really likes and trusts me, and his tantrums often end as fast as they began, with me next to him. I feel like we made a lot of headway and even breakthroughs. E is starting to relax a little after their unfortunate experience at camp, and I know we will get along well. They even said I was like their second mother, and didn’t want me to leave. I feel honored. Now we’ll see how it goes with Y when she returns; I’m sure it will be fine.
Garden-care is the one thing that got somewhat neglected, partly because I’m still pretty dizzy all the time now, but it’s well-established on its own. There are little yellow squashes and zucchini forming, and other healthy plants thriving. Goldfinches are already eating the sunflowers. Frankfurt the rabbit just sits out back mowing and ignoring us. I wonder how he’ll deal with a dog if and when they get one. I know how I’ll deal with it, now that I’m a dog person (in theory).
Here are flowers and a Ninja.
A long but good day. We got to see my B-I-L Bob, who was in STL on business and dropped by Avdi’s. It was nice to catch up. It’s been years! S really took to “Uncle Bob”!
The rest of the day was erev Shabbat preps (including a big salad from the garden), challah, a break to go take care of the cats, and Shabbat dinner. S played a video game on my laptop. He and I have gotten pretty close in a short time. We’re starting to read each other’s minds and anticipate thoughts.
I’m spending the night, so tomorrow A can go retrieve E from camp.
I now know more about Ninjago than I ever wanted to! I’m starting to repeat the show’s clichés along with S, and that damn tune is in my head! But it’s fine; I’m being inducted into a whole different universe, getting outside my comfort zone.
I’ve got the easy job. My son has to juggle jobs, expenses, four kids with issues, household maintenance and catastrophes, meals, loss of social interaction, and little sleep. I have a renewed admiration and empathy for him and all parents.
My daily break is when I drive over to J’s to take care of the cats. They both love me now; no growling at all from Pixie today, and she let me touch her! A breakthrough. Odin is his regular blobby self.