This post is just to prove I can get even more boring than the last apartment post!  Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this post.

I finally figured out what my dishwasher is for–storing food storage containers, lids, and disposable utensils!  Isn’t that clever?  It’s the perfect appliance for it (and not much else).

While at it, I sorted and reorganized cabinets and closets.  Kind of like the proverbial sock drawer.  I actually have room to spare.  I’m accepting donations of basic kitchen equipment if you need more space!

Having almost no grocery money this month wasn’t as much of a hardship as one would think.  I had enough nonperishable staples laid in to fake it, and even to fill a bag for a local nonprofit food drive.  Plus doing Avdi’s garden work provided me with some fresh produce, for which I’m grateful.  (Ironically, the grocery money went toward my ongoing dental construction project which will allow me to be able to eat hypothetical food in the future!)

So far I still haven’t turned on AC.  I’ve managed to keep the apartment quite comfortable by using ceiling fans, opening windows during cooler times of day, and keeping blinds closed to block solar heat.  I save lots of money and energy that way.  (Also by not having or using major appliances like dishwashers!)

If you’re still with me, good job!  Sorry I can’t help you with your job, with all my retirement overtime!  I know it’s annoying listening to someone trying to find things to do with all their time!  To be honest, I don’t miss slaving for an employer (or losing the job to caregive) every waking hour for decades, then having little to show for it or live on.  But the flip-side, idle time on a fixed low income, can also be challenging.  I try to make the best use of it I can.  I’m sure the Gkids will fix all that!

Well, that’s your bedtime story.  Technically, I wrote!  I should turn these blahgposts into a drone-cast!  [evil Vogon laughter.]  I’ve gotten enough exercise gardening and walking to take a break for the next round.   I’m honing my balanced diet skills on an extreme budget (actually easier without superfluous food).  Reading “The Expanse”, check.  Socialization, check (when I can get it, or the occasional dog).  Garden zen, check.  And you thought I was neglecting those infamous Habits!

If you made it through this one, my compliments.  I barely did.  Not exactly habit-forming!  Writing something from nothing is also an acquired skill.

Today’s garden agenda was: water, weed, cultivate between rows, clean up a pile of branches from yesterday, harvest like a bushel of beautiful spinach, plant a few more baby herbs, freeze spinach for Avdi, give Percy his salad of mixed lettuces and greens, and take a few photos, including one of my bunny buddies, who always imagines she’s hidden from sight.  That human will never find me!

Every so often I walked down the new “woodland trail”.  It’s kind of zen.  Now I’m thinking, some LED fairy lights throughout.

Then I walked home.  I was wishing I had a doggy friend to hang out with, but next best thing– the little free book kiosk had a copy of Jack London’s “Call of the Wild”, which I had left mine behind in NJ, so now I have one.  (Yes, I’m aware of controversies surrounding his and others’ attitudes from that era, but it’s still a classic.)

I’m about to start reading James S. A. Corey, “Leviathan Wakes”, #1 in the Expanse series, so I will never be bored again!

Guess what I’ve been living on–you guessed it, fresh spinach, greens, and radishes!  I figure I earned it from all the gardening.  I feel privileged.

I walked to Avdi’s, and since the rain had watered for me, proceeded directly to work on a garden project I’ve been planning, a “secret” woodland trail for the kids through the back natives and trees.  It took some work sawing dead limbs, outlining a path around plants with them, trimming some branches, and filling in the path with dead leaves.  It was a real workout, but now it’s done.  I’ll scatter some shiny “treasure” along the path for them to discover when they’re here.

The okra I planted in a planter is coming up.  The peas must have heard me the other day wondering why they weren’t blooming yet, because now they are.  Many assorted peas may be in our near future.

Here are random scenes around Avdi’s.

How to even describe a zoom shiva…It was led by a very personable young rabbi from IKAR, Robert and Bob’s congregation in L.A.  There were cousins from both sides, old friends of R&B’s going back decades, our next-door neighbors from Fair Lawn (though one of them was in Nicaragua), and so on.  I barely recognized people, they’ve aged so much!  Avdi and I were together at his office.  The rabbi led us in a short ma’ariv (evening) service and the mourner’s kaddish.

Many people spoke about their fond memories of my mother and Avdi’s grandmother, including Avdi.  I held back, not knowing what to say.  My experience was quite different from others’, probably my own fault.  But it was fascinating to hear the perspectives of the others, and anecdotes I had never heard.  It made me wish I hadn’t estranged myself from the whole family and lost that connection.

The main point is that friends and relatives who are unable to travel long distances to reunite and show respect, are able to come together in one virtual space to give support and comfort, and just talk.  It’s casual and come as you are, so different from uncomfortable physical shivas we’ve experienced.  The rabbi was kind, humble, and engaging, not like the arrogant snobs of the past.  In a way it was more intimate, yet not awkward or oppressive as shivas can tend to be.  The people who joined, wanted to be there and were part of a support network, not just a dutiful minyan (minimum required quorum).

Well, that’s my zoom shiva review!  I felt somewhat like a stranger on the periphery, just due to my own past lack of good decision-making skills, having alienated my own self and others.  There were probably people present who still thought I was that old evil self who couldn’t be trusted!  I wouldn’t blame them.

Anyway, this was about my mother, whose life obviously impacted many people for good.  Who knows, maybe some of her good traits have inadvertently rubbed off on me!  I couldn’t say.

Here are some (of course) irises.

You know this one’s going to be boring, because I’m at my apartment!  Read on, if you need a nap.

It’s, I swear, 90+ degrees out.  I can hear other ACs running.  But in my apartment, with climate control not even turned on, just ceiling fans, it’s completely comfortable (so far).  I’m hoping to keep it that way as long as possible.

As usual in MO, the unstable weather fluctuations make for severe t-storm watches later this evening.  That usually means a 50/50 chance or less of the garden getting watered, or getting relocated to Kansas.  No way to know.

The only gardening getting done here is some repotting of my mini-jungle.  Pretty soon I can start moving some plants out to the microscopic “patio”.  No room for an actual chair, but no reason either.

I have been getting reacquainted with my Gkids by texting, in preparation for their coming move here, so that’s one good thing.  One of my Gkid’s food tastes are so sophisticated, I have no idea what some of the things are!  Guess I’ll find out.

This evening is the shiva zoom, a gathering of family and friends from all over the country to say evening prayers and kaddish for my mother.  I’ve never experienced sitting shiva virtually or remotely, so no idea who or what to expect.

That’s life in the 21st, post-COVID.  Always something new to experience.

Obviously not much to say right now, so here instead are photos of the mini-jungle.  At this point, it’s mostly herbs for me, some lettuces, and some tropicals.  Somehow they keep multiplying (??)  At least my addiction is healthy!

This was a very full (of emotion) day.  Avdi and I went to CRC services, and said mourner’s kaddish for Mom.  I finally got to meet Rabbi Randy in person, and other congregants I’ve only ever met online or seen streaming, or had met once before.  I was literally embraced by strangers who offered condolences.  I almost felt like a part of a Jewish community, after all these decades away.  Here’s a photo of Rabbi Daniel and the drum guy tuning up before the service.  Also erev candles from last night.

Then Avdi and I checked out Left Bank Books, nearby in Central West End.  I’ve ordered gift books from them online for others, in order to support their social justice/queer work in the community, but finally got to do it in person.  It’s an excellent bookstore.  Avdi bought me a book I’ve really been wanting, the first installment of The Expanse, for Mother’s Day.  That should keep me out of trouble for a while.  They even had the obligatory friendly bookstore black cat, who let me take its picture.

Then we explored some of the streets and features nearby.  Lots of indie art galleries, eateries, clubs, and amazing old architecture and landscaping.  It was like being transported to another time and place, but with some obvious new changes happening.  St. Louis is nothing if not full of fascinating historical contrasts and culture.  The weather was perfect, windy with a sun shower.

Then we came back to Avdi’s and I watered the garden, which wasn’t as ravaged as yesterday.  The varmints probably got it all already.  But they didn’t manage to find all the first strawberries!  It’s only early May, but I’m starting to get a hint of how hot and humid it’s going to get here.  I’ll have to warm up to it gradually!

Since Mom’s death, I keep running into a recurrent theme: sometimes it takes a death to flush out and reconnect estranged/feuding/out-of-touch cousins, and it reveals a lot of unfamiliar/hidden family history, sordid or otherwise.  Death can have positive, or at least enlightening, side effects.  You learn all sorts of things you never knew, including about yourself.

I spent the night at Avdi’s, and will again tonight, so we can go to services on Shabbat to say mourner’s kaddish for Mom.  As usual, in the morning I found the garden had been ravaged by varmints overnight.  Probably raccoons.  As fast as I plant, they harvest.  They’re like garden thugs.  Kind of frustrating, all that work for nothing, but we press on!

I did the usual erev routine, preparing the meal (SW chicken, homemade cole slaw, and rice) and baking challah.  Avdi worked.  I drove over to my apartment briefly to pick up clothes, etc. and had a pleasant conversation with my landlord, who also had a recent death in the family, and commiserated.  He agreed that a death can bring out some bizarre facts about people, but also reconnect family.  His story was stranger than some I’ve encountered lately!

We’re in serious iris season now.  It’s hard not to take repetitious photos of them!  So ostentatious!  But we’re equal opportunity flower-lovers here.  Even the lowliest flowers are essential to nature’s world wide web.  Force one to go extinct, and the whole network suffers, including us.

I drove over to Avdi’s and immediately got to work.  I harvested all the remaining radishes, making room for pepper seedlings, which I planted in their place.  I planted the various varieties of basil plants in the herb garden.  Then Avdi helped me prep the areas in front of the veg garden for tomato seedlings, and we planted them.  All that’s left down in propagation is one flat of assorted tomatoes and peppers to divide between Avdi and Jess.

Speaking of which, when I was done with A’s garden, I drove over to Jess’s to make them an herb garden.  Eric had obtained the necessary soil amendments, which I dug into the designated area, then planted the seedlings I had grown for them.  I forgot to take a before shot, which was an overgrown weedy tangle.  I think Eric approved of the end result, which he agreed to water regularly.  Also here are some irises.

Pixie the Cat was being adorable again.  Here she is being walked outside by Evelyn on her harness, grazing on grass.

On the way home, I actually stopped at a (gasp) grocery store for a few necessities.  I used to take driving and shopping for granted.  Now it’s a novelty.

Robert has organized a shivah zoom for Sunday evening for anyone who wants to join, including family, friends, their synagogue, and ours; should be interesting.  Some cousins who haven’t talked for decades may end up on there together.  We’re both finding this death of Mom is reconnecting us to long-lost family members and family history.

I took a day off from gardening to just take care of business at my apartment.  I spent all morning on the phone and online, trying to find a periodontist in the area that takes my dental insurance.  What a chore.

You’d think you could just find one on the insurance in-network listings, but you’d be wrong, because providers never update their changes.  (One turned out to be an endodontist, a totally different animal.)  Plus it turns out having an HMO not PPO means most specialists are out-of-network, which I don’t have and can’t afford, or don’t take my insurance at all, including the three my dentist (who was likewise hard to obtain) referred me to.

I got this dental insurance intentionally because it covers so much comprehensive dental work like implants.  Ha.  Maybe it’s a Missouri issue.  I had no such problem with virtually the same insurance in Ohio.

Anyway, I appear to have found a periodontist who will hopefully be covered, though not that close to me, and not until September, but it’s something.  Then I had to fill out a dozen online forms for them.  I’m already tired of perio.

At this rate, I may die first, and not need teeth.  It seems to be a recurring theme, lately.

Tomorrow I’ll go back to what I’m better at, gardening.  I even get to add on a new project, Jess’s, where I’m going to make them an herb garden and other features.  Something I can sink my remaining teeth into!

Speaking of which, here’s a rabbit.

I spent the night, though Avdi was here with K., just because.  I’m not sure how much help or support I’m providing sometimes.  I’m still learning to get better at reading actual situations and not reading in my own assumptions,  interpretations, or “solutions”.  Most of the time I’m guessing at the lie of the land; I’m better at actual literal land.

Segue to early morning gardening.  I watered; then transplanted a big stand of daffodils from in front of the veg garden to elsewhere, so I could clean up and use that space later for tomatoes, etc.  One of the big bunnies was just sitting in front of me, mowing the lawn.  Free labor!  As I dug things up, the robins would swoop right in after me for food.  My crew.

I’m sure it will feel weird and strange for a while after Mom’s death, even though she’s been absent for a long time.  Though it’s harder when the loved one is still very much a part of your life, then suddenly gone, there’s still an existential void in this case.  All the more inclination to be around live family, while I can.  Only more unobtrusively if possible, while Avdi is distracted by work stress.

I even baked some cookies (chocolate oatmeal) while Avdi went shopping, that’s how domesticated I’m being!