Today at my apartment was a really “off” day.  Let’s’ just say I was thankful for a day to just sleep and not much else.  I couldn’t eat much.  I definitely couldn’t exercise.  The best I can do is recover somewhat for Avdi’s tomorrow night.  Obviously nothing interesting to report; just thought I’d check in.

Oddly, I did get to socialize by phone with someone unexpectedly–our old (Black) housekeeper Barbara, who helped raise us in NJ.  I hadn’t known if she was alive or dead; turns out quite alive, and lively at 86.  We talked and caught up for a while.  She still loves our family, and tries to keep in touch with whoever’s left, but we had fallen out of touch.  Seeing her positivity, it helped put my minor discomfort in perspective.  So that happened.

At least my “greenies” are healthy–maybe a little too healthy!  I go away for a few days, and look what happens–a salad bar!  Pretty soon they too will be leaving the nest.

Happy Spring!  My final day here.  I didn’t feel too good today, but I was determined to finish up chores I wanted to do, like scrub the bathroom, do some token work in the garden, and lots of other misc.  I weeded and cleared out the bed I want to use for perennial herbs.  That’s about all I had energy for.

It’s hard to eat, or keep it down, but I did make Percy and myself a little salad.  I got a little exercise outside, and going up and down these stairs.  Just doing that makes me tired and winded.  I hope I get back to normal soon, so I can garden some more.

I’m loving all the early spring flowers blooming here.  Here are a few:

Today I felt OK enough to get up and do some cleaning.  I cleaned and organized the whole refrigerator and freezer.  I figure it’s Pesach cleaning for the next time I stay here alone extendedly.  I fixed a salad for Percy, and one for myself!  I fertilized the greenies.

Last but not least, I walked to my apartment to check in on my seedlings and plants–they were fine–and walked back.  I talked to a human on the way, obviously a dog person.  It’s the first human I’ve encountered for days!

A&K will be back tomorrow night, it turns out.  Tomorrow is supposed to be nice out, so if I feel up to it, I’ll do some garden cleanup.  About time!

In the back of my mind is my mother’s terminal condition, and what comes next.

Here are some flowers.

Shavuah tov…to a good week!  (Just for a moment, assume I remember the chants and sing them really well!)

First official full day alone here.  I finally got some sleep, and even managed to sleep in.  No ghosts bothered me.  Still don’t feel quite right, but it’s amazing what you can get used to.

I’m still not my mother, who is seriously dying as far as I know.  The other shoe is temporarily suspended, which is fine.

Update–she’s stabilized in the hospital for now, able to eat (gruel or something), while my brother Andrew wrangles with the insurance company to get coverage and treatment for his broken ankle, and looks into hospice.  Robert as usual is doing all he can from a distance to manage the situation, and keep me informed.  And I’m just sitting here nervously, trying not to turn into green jello!

If nothing else, this antibiotic makes a great diet pill!  I had to force myself to eat some bread just to take my dose this morning, and try to keep it down.  I attempted to slice a semi-frozen bagel just now, and ended up slashing myself instead, so maybe it’s trying to tell me something.

I’m observing Shabbat as much as my OCD need to clean allows me!  I watched some of CRC services on streaming.    Here’s R. Daniel and his teak Torah scroll.  I may even attempt Havdalah this evening.  Mostly I’m getting actual rest, see if I can kick this malaise once and for all.

Here is the star of the show, Percy The Person in his lair; can you see his beady eye?  I gave him the best salad ever, freshly harvested (and washed) from the lab!  He eats better than I, since I’m not eating much.  He says “whee”.

Well, here I am holding down the fort, while A&K drive to Knoxville.  This place doesn’t have Bigfoot and his crashing boots upstairs, but I think it has ghosts!  It’s a very creaky house, especially all night with strong wind gusts.  I’m getting used to it.  Maybe tonight I’ll sleep.

Today I just stayed out of the way while Avdi got ready for the trip, and got some needed rest.  After they left, I started on my List!  Naturally I had a chores list and whipped it out.  Gotta stay productive.  I threw out all the science experiments in the refrigerator before they evolved and walked away of their own accord.

Top of the list: Percy the Person and his salad that I promised him.  He is one happy Pig.  I’ve started to speak Guinea Pig and he keeps looking at me funny.  Like I insulted his mother or something.  Must be the accent.

Now I’m drinking some good Irish–sláinte!–not too much, being on antibiotics.  And waiting nervously for that infamous other shoe, more like a Bigfoot boot.  I should write a bleak existential Irish poem about footwear.  I figure no news is good news, for now.

You know, the hardest thing to do is learn to savor and soak up the moment of blissful ignorance before the storm, and store it in reserve like solar cells for a rainy day.  Now we’re getting into lame weather metaphor territory, my specialty.

Shabbat will be different with nobody here, but we adapt.  I didn’t bake challah, for obvious reasons.  I did defrost some beef potato veg stew and dump all the leftover basmati into it, not bad.  (I froze last night’s dal, two meal’s worth.)  So for any of my 2.5 readers who are worried I’m not eating, rest assured.  I’m not my mother, yet!  Here’s proof:

I’ll leave off for now with some St. Patrick’s Day color from down in the “lab”, where the other science project lives.  One of these is, appropriately enough, a potato plant I grew for fun from Avdi’s sprouting Cthulhu in the pantry.  I am the Propagatrix.  It’s an addiction.

It takes finding out your mother collapsed and went to the hospital, and will probably be eligible for hospice, to keep my small discomforts in perspective.

Of course it was only a matter of time ’til the other shoe dropped, but this may be it.  Her sole caregiver, my other brother Andrew, inconveniently fell on ice and broke his ankle, so he’s pretty much incapacitated while having to deal with this crisis.  My brother Robert can’t travel for medical reasons, so he feels helpless at a distance.   And I have no idea how I would get there, and how I could help.  Hopefully it will become clear as events unfold.  So, not a lot of sleep again last night.

I know, cheery, huh?  Talking about me seems so petty and whiny right now.  So I’ll stop for now.  Happy almost spring.  Here’s an upbeat erev Shabbat scene.

I’m over at Avdi’s for the night.  The green babies down in the “lab” are gangbusters!  Nay, gangbangers!  Like mini-trees busting through the roof.

Outside in the warm drizzle, I was thrilled to see the masses of Va. bluebell plants, some just starting to bud out.  They’re one of my favorites.  And all the crocuses I planted are showing, yellow, purple, and white.  When the many drifts of spring bulb flowers start blooming for real, it’s going to be spectacular.

In the veg garden, all the peas (pictured) and spinach are showing their heads.  So all that lifted my spirits a little, after being secluded in my apartment for a week.

Avdi made a nice vegan Indian dal (tur dal) with sweet potatoes and swiss chard, and basmati rice, and I ate a little while watching our Expanse episode.

This time I brought my laptop with me, so I can write whenever I feel like it, and feel more connected.  It’s going to be very quiet after they leave tomorrow, but I’m sure the Percy Person and I will have lots to discuss on the subject of salad.  And there’s a house full of books, plus a bed.  What more could I need?  In the unlikely event I feel much better, there’s plenty of garden cleanup to do.

Well, I guess I’ll sign out for this evening, and see how I feel in the morning.  The human contact did some good, while it lasts.

So, change of plan…I’m going to spend the night at Avdi’s, but then he and K. will be traveling out of town for days, and I get to Percy-sit!  And plant-sit.  And just mostly sit, or lie down, the way I’m feeling right now.  No routine Shabbat this week.  Since I seem to have lost my appetite anyway, that works.

I know this is how it begins, if you let it.  You turn [x] age, feel like crap a lot, let yourself go and deteriorate, and atrophy sets in.  I refuse to give in to this, or go out like that.  I fight it with every breath.  Now that I’m finally free to be here for my family and experience new things, I’m not going to just crap out and turn into a jello mold.  It’s so easy to fall into.

Be that as it may, I lack energy to do laps today; I walked once around the building and that was it for me.  And food is unappealing right now.  All my habits seem to be temporarily on hold, but I’ll get back to it, once this mystery plague runs its course.  I will resist the urge to lounge!  No evil green jello is going to assimilate me!

This week has been somewhat surreal.  Sleep has been hit or miss, mostly missing.  I seem to have lost my appetite.  The medical issue is just sticking around, possibly responding to treatment, too soon to tell.  Other than that, it will be good to get back into the swing of things.

To practice, I did a few laps, including one outside, where I haven’t gone for a week (not counting the clinic).  Some flowers were blooming amongst the weeds, and some invasive bushes are leafing out.  I feel so disconnected.  As I was about to go back in my apartment, an adorable tiny toddler came running down the hall from another apartment and enthusiastically hugged me, multiple times!  Her name was Hunter, and her Mom retrieved her, and I got to greet some nice humans.

I’m trying to avoid any more stupid business drama with insurance drones, and just let them sort it out, so I can get on with finding a dentist who takes my dental plan and pick up where my construction project left off a year ago.  I’m fortunate to have good insurance, being old, but sometimes its administrators can make it so complicated to take advantage of.  I’m sure this BS too shall poop itself out.

Really, I’ve got nothing to report.  The solitary seclusion is not a big deal, especially after the COVID quarantine, but it does get old.  I didn’t even know what it was like outside.  Very disconnecting.

I’m hoping to go over Avdi’s tomorrow and spend the night, and get back on track with Shabbat.  I’m thinking Irish stout chicken (Jewish St. Patrick’s Day?), but not green.  I know he’s been having a rough time with work and stress, so I hope to mitigate some of his load at least.

Here’s a not-very-accurate rendition of my little encounter.