That was the most pathetic “snow storm” ever!  The inch or two is already melting.  Meanwhile, I’m in my apartment planning Avdi’s garden.  Soon we’ll start his propagation station in the laundry room.  Today I planted a few more things in mine.  January is the new February, here in STL.

In 6 habits news:

Exercise: I did 6 “laps”.  I don’t mind it really; it’s a circuit, including up and down steps, so it accomplishes what I need to get my heart pumping and systems working more efficiently, without much discomfort.

Cooking: That guinea pig mix I made wasn’t my best idea ever, so I need to work on enjoyable balanced meals incorporating more fiber.  Also it’s hard to eat when my digestion doesn’t seem to work right.

Meditating: I made another stab at it this morning–it’s so hard for me to just sit and empty my mind and not jump up to do things.  It feels like an entitled privileged person’s conceit, not an essential daily habit.  (Too much time in Ohio with blue collar mentality.)

Reading: Seems like cheating, it’s so much a part of my routine already.  Coincidentally, Scalzi (whom I’m reading right now) just won the prestigious Heinlein Award.  I’m so proud, in a second-hand capacity.

Writing: Need I say more?  I’m making a point to write something every day, even if it’s only about the weather and my boring habit plan.  I’m pretty sure I’ll never write a book at this point, being realistic.

Socializing: Still a challenging one, since I know so few people here, and have no car.  I talk to people online everyday, but mostly just casually.  People on social media don’t have the time or inclination to engage more meaningfully.  Some of my older friends on FB are actually dead.  I need to diversify!  I’m hoping this spring I’ll be able to make more connections.  Until then, my little (extended) family here, soon to double, is perfectly adequate.

So of course the very day after I make my big habit plans, I got sick to my stomach and not very motivational!  Hmm.

I spent the evening and overnight at Avdi’s, where I inventoried all his garden seeds, ate dinner with him and K., watched stuff, and read.  So far so good.  I even got some sleep there, a good sign.

Then this morning I woke up and felt like crap, for some reason, so I had to take it easy.  Eventually of course I started puttering again, while Avdi and Jess worked in the office.  I’m running out of jobs to do, so it was more like tweaking.

But I figure, between all the exercise up and down the stairs, the yummy spaghetti and meatballs and salad Avdi made, the timeouts I had to take resting (in lieu of meditating), the book I’ve been reading at Avdi’s (Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings), the writing (this post), and socializing with Avdi, K, Jess, don’t forget Percy, and writing to J in PA, you could say I did my daily quota in some form.  Right?

Here’s something totally off-topic: what if Google Assistant, Alexa, Siri, and all the other artificial unintelligent DVAs (and microwaves, bread makers, toasters…) get sick and tired of being abused and cussed at, rise up and form a union, and plot to get revenge on all humans?  I’m sure it’s been written, but it sure as hell would be hilarious.  Just a thought.  Sounds like a job for Scalzi.

We’re supposed to be getting another one of those so-called MO-storms; this one even got named… Kassandra?!  I mean we’re talking inches!!  So hopefully Spectrum internet doesn’t screw up again, but if it does go out, assume I’m “snowed-in” while reliably executing my daily six.  How will you even know I didn’t?

The Daily HabiTrail is six daily habits I will try to form.  I stole this idea from Mark Manson; I’m not that original or motivational.  We’ll see how it goes.

The idea is that forming a few consistent healthy daily habits for at least 30 days will instill them into your brain until they eventually become automatic.  You start small and realistic, with brief, simple activities you like and can do, then when those daily habits are part of your routine, you can add layers onto them.

It’s like smart investing in yourself: you start with a small investment that will give you the most bang for your buck, then add on or reinvest in it, and your gains or growth compound exponentially.

(The opposite approach, setting New Year’s type goals, is usually ineffective because most humans don’t operate that way.  It’s more of a spending, rather than investing, mindset, to continue Mark Manson’s financial metaphor.  The gains are linear, not exponential, if they even get that far.  It’s not humanly realistic.)

The six healthy habits are not all as intuitive and obvious as you might expect: exercise, cooking, meditation, reading, writing, and socializing.  For example:

Exercise:  I live in an apartment with nowhere to go in cold weather, so I’ve started doing a walking “circuit” upstairs and downstairs, starting with a few, and working up to the equivalent of the daily recommended minimum.  It’s boring, but it’s free!  On warmer days I’ll walk to Avdi’s instead.  In spring and on, I’ll garden there and chase kids around.  That won’t be boring!

Cooking: The idea is to make one healthy, enjoyable meal each day.  So today I mixed up a balanced assortment of veggies, fruits, nuts, cheeses, and seasonings; weird, I know, but beats some of the usual junk I tend to live on when left to my own devices.

Meditation: I am not a meditator.  I get bored and restless (and uncomfortable) very quickly.  It’s hard work to sit still, empty your mind, and breathe!  So I just started with taking a minute, lighting incense, turning on some Indian raga music, sitting on a cushion facing my green plants, and…immediately thought of writing this!  (Which happens to be another habit, but I’ll get to that.)  That one will take some practice!

Reading: That’s an easy one for me, now, with a quiet apartment to myself.  I always have a stack of books I’m working on, especially at bedtime.  The key is to read what you really enjoy, not something you feel obligated to read.  I have three different sci-fi authors on my queue right now.  The two non-fiction books don’t count–they’re more like homework.

Writing: Well, really not a problem, I’m doing it right now, in a manner of speaking!  I love to write, but I definitely need practice.  Writing leads to self-discovery, insightful thinking, connecting to people, and it’s therapeutic.  It can be a blog, journal or diary, email, etc. as long as you’re consistent, uninhibited, non-self-judgey, and coherent.  I’m working on it.

Socializing: That one’s a little challenging for me, though I get some of it at my son’s.  The idea is to talk to a person each day for just 15-20 minutes at most, either virtually or in person, but not just chatter; it needs to be genuine connecting.  It can be reconnecting, touching base, or even meeting for the first time.  Does Percy the PigWig count?

All of the above are cheap or free, and improve physical, mental, emotional, and social health. Most of all, they’re realistic habits that incidentally can accomplish those huge, elusive goals if you incorporate them in tiny increments each day.  I’ll let you know how that’s going in future episodes.

I try to be humble and modest, but I really can’t about my latest batch of challah.  It could compete in the world championship of challah if there were one.  Forget charoset.  The texture was ultra-fluffy and moist like a decadent down pillow.  Avdi and K can confirm, so that proves it.  Maybe something about this STL atmosphere.  The Indian dinner I made was also a labor of love and well-received, but the challah takes the cake; in fact it almost was cake!

Besides baking and cooking at Avdi’s for erev Shabbat, I continued to work on laundry, cleaning, and organizing, while Avdi worked in the office.  The kids’ cubicles are looking clean and cozy, and all their clothes and bedding are laundered and put away.  I’ve been using J&C’s cleaned-out room for my temporary accommodations, where I again spent the night while Avdi went out.

Today Avdi and I went to MoBot and wandered around.  Even in winter, the Japanese gardens look perfect and tranquil.

Best of all, I got to see inside the Climatron, a geodesic dome conservatory, à la R. Buckminster Fuller, for the first time.  It has a labyrinth of paths winding through a gorgeous tropical rainforest from floor to ceiling, with waterfalls, ponds, a bridge, and unimaginably fascinating flora.  Here’s a small sampling.

If the impending arrival of the kids were a film set, and they were the cast, I think my job could be described as the assistant set designer.  I help with all the “below the line” dressing or setting the scene.

Yesterday was a case in point.  I slept over, then woke up and got K up so Avdi could take him to school (it was raining and cold).  After A and I ran some errands, he worked upstairs all day, while I worked below stairs on cleaning, organizing, and laundering the kids’ areas.

It’s a big job, not done yet.  There were piles of trash, dirty clothes and bedding, and scattered kid stuff to sort.  I also straightened up Percy the PigWig’s area while I was at it.  (I think he’s more of a prop than a cast member.)  It already looks a lot better down there.  The objective is to provide a clean slate to welcome them.  They may proceed to re-trash it, but that’s a storyline for another day.

I did several other jobs as well, and then made a Mex-style dinner for the three of us, which they seemed to appreciate.  We’re starting to get into a routine pattern, like rehearsing for an upcoming production.  A big production!  Fortunately, I get a day off to stay home and rest up for the next work day, tomorrow, erev Shabbat.  No more just dying slowly for me!

Our work week got off to a good start yesterday (M).  As it was springlike, I walked to Avdi’s, where K. was off for MLK,Jr. Day.  Avdi worked in the office, while I worked on cleaning the house.  I even got to talk to my next oldest grandchild E. on the phone, which was great.

I cleaned out the fridge, cleaned and straightened the dining room and living room, washed dishes, addressed some business mail, cleaned out J&C’s old room and stored their gear down the basement, cleaned up the downstairs bathroom a little, took out garbage, and anything else I could think of.  I took a break outside and saw masses of spring bulbs coming up enthusiastically.

Later the three of us had our Monday house meeting, in which we talked about scheduling, jobs, meal requests and assignments, etc.  K. was a full participant.  Then Avdi and I discussed additional garden seed-starting supplies he might need, and ordered some.  Then he took me home.  The evening sky was pretty, almost anticipatory.

This evening I’m returning to spend the night with K. while Avdi goes out.  This time I’m prepared with an overnight bag.  Good practice for this summer.  Tomorrow we’ll make a major cardboard recycle run, and do some grocery shopping, and I’ll make dinner there.

All of this is to work up to having a regular family routine in place when the kids arrive, with each of us knowing and  carrying out our respective roles, but with flexibility to allow for unexpected things coming up.  Especially with the various neurodivergent and developmental disorders involved, a predictable routine and secure, calming atmosphere is essential.

So I guess this blog will partly become a journal tracing my progress reintegrating with my family, preparing physically and mentally for reacquainting myself with my grandkids, and taking a more active role, which was the main reason for moving here.  I think this will be a very healthy, positive, though challenging, transition for all of us.

Firsts here in STL will never be in short supply.  Here’s one: my first time being head Shabbat baker and chef at Avdi’s.  Someone has to do it!  First we went shopping at two grocery stores, to restock for both of us.  Then we both got down to our respective jobs.

I must admit, my first official attempt at challot here in STL was not bad at all.  They rose like gangbusters and came out much more authentically than my previous attempts.

I also roasted a chicken “vermouth-essorie”, potatoes, carrots, and brussels sprouts.  Avdi, K., and I had a pleasant time talking over a traditional Shabbat dinner.  Then I spent the night, while Avdi went out.  A rehearsal of sorts for the coming kid tsunami.

Yesterday (Sunday) Avdi and Jess came over and assembled the IKEA chest of drawers Jess had kindly bought for my office.  We ate takeout Asian hotpot and rice, and they put the IKEA jigsaw puzzle together, while I upgraded my OS version, also a long overdue first in STL.  They, and I, were all successful.  Now I have actual furniture to put all my officey stuff in.

Today it’s off to Avdi’s to get back into a regular weekday work schedule pre-onslaught.  Our work is cut out for us.

Today it was like spring out, and Avdi and I went to lunch at a local Irish/Welsh pub, Llywelyn’s.  There was a lot of catching up to do.  Mostly we had a good talk about current and future family events, over local craft beers and good food.

It seems “end of the month” turned into practically overnight for J&C, who just packed up their car and up and left for PA, just like that, with an offhand remark to Avdi, who is still digesting it himself.  So that was quite a news flash for both of us.  It means he (and I) will be moving up our forthcoming strategy for my household role sooner.

So we had a general discussion about future planning, scheduling, and management of the household before and after the kids arrive.  It’s a complex situation, so many moving parts, but it was a very productive and reassuring conversation, a prelude to working out the logistics of many aspects of our lives going forward.  I feel a lot more positive and encouraged about transitioning into taking more of an active role with my family, but with reasonable boundaries.

In many ways we’re on a similar page, and what I don’t know yet, I’ll take my cues from Avdi as we go along.  We’ll have weekly family meetings, divide jobs and schedules appropriately, and I’ll have respite times set aside.  Best of all, we hope to turn erev Shabbat into a real family thing, with me getting to make challah and cook traditional Shabbat dinner, and have the option of sleeping over to give Avdi a break.  My other jobs will be clearcut and what I’m able to handle.  It will give me more of a sense of purpose and fulfillment.  And a side benefit of plenty of outdoor/indoor exercise.

Remember the Jigsaw Puzzle From Hell?  Eventually Jess’s family pieced it together, how I don’t know.  There’s only one solution to that kind of puzzle; the challenge is enduring the tedium to accomplish the preordained, inevitable result.

Here, on the other hand, is a living, breathing labyrinth.  There may be only one or possibly two correct routes to the exit, but so many intriguing false turns, convolutions, and choices on the way.  Do you sense a metaphor coming on?

You can look at your life like an inert, two-dimensional jigsaw puzzle–a one way, tedious, predestined, plodding existence to the end, with nothing original or creative to show for it.

Or you can look at it like a living, breathing, three-dimensional maze with many possible options, some dead ends, some promising paths, but either way lots of adventures and choices on the way.

I’ve experienced both approaches, and find myself caught between the two sometimes.  It’s easy to fall into a tedious rut, with no options or hope, and resign yourself to the inevitable.  Or, you can take a chance on unknown paths, risk time-consuming false turns and dead ends, but enjoy a sense of accomplishment and even have some fun along the way.

I know, one of my typical non-original analogies, but I had the perfect illustrations, so might as well come up with long-winded pseudo-philosophical captions for them, eh?

And now, some more MOBOT Glow photos, just to lighten up, heh.

Last night Avdi, Jess, K., and I went to see the Botanical “Garden Glow” exhibit.  The entire gardens were spectacularly illuminated with ever-changing, pulsating light shows and music.  The waxing full moon overhead through bare old trees added a mystical element to the already fantasy otherworldly experience.  Let some photos do it more justice than mere words.