Erev Shabbat was fairly quiet.  S was at camp, Y stayed to herself, and A worked.  He was feeling pretty under the weather from stress and exhaustion, and even got to catch a short nap or two, in between working and dealing with kid issues.

I did the usual erev preps, and picked up S from camp.  He had had some issues cooperating on their field trip, but it was resolved successfully by the thoughtful counselor.  We had Shabbat dinner with only some disruption.  Later Avdi went out for the night, while I stayed over.  I fell asleep before the kids, since I can’t stay up that late.

There was another of STL’s frequent severe thunderstorms last night.  It flooded the backyard again so it looked like the pool was in the middle of a pond.  It turned out Y hadn’t slept all night, she said, due to fear of monsters while A was away.  It seems that sometimes she’ll actually relent and talk to me civilly, more innocent kid-like, when she’s feeling vulnerable.  Good to know.

Jess came over with Avdi and reclaimed her car, and I walked home.  Poor Avdi had to pump out the backyard while still not feeling well.  Once again I felt guilty for being able to take a break from the kids.  I know I’m helping just by being around, but sometimes, dare I admit it, it’s excruciatingly boring and soul-crushing!  Not to mention stressful and exhausting.

Then I think of how Avdi must feel, with no relief.  Humans weren’t intended to have to go it alone and bear the entire weight of the world.  That’s why humans and dogs get along: we’re all social pack animals, each having a role, sharing and facilitating the work load.  Ideally we function and grow best in a compatible group, not as an island against the world.  But we live in a culture that makes that almost impossible.  Just my opinion.



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