not to be outdone by my fungus aficionado son, here are some recent finds of my own!  hope he’s lichen it!  😉

i just want to say that i went to my doctor today.

this is a big deal, not only because i really like my doctor (via medicaid, at a teaching hospital system), but because, having been a family caregiver, i had to give up my own job and health insurance to care for parents in NJ who had the best insurance and specialists, while i had no way to afford a doctor of my own for the most basic care.

when i moved to Ohio, i found this state to be so conservative and non-progressive that it made it impossible for me to get the Obamacare i was entitled to, though i complied with all the deadlines.  there’s something very wrong with that.

finally an O-care volunteer helped me go straight through medicaid, which i qualified for, and get decent healthcare.  now i can get a physical, my annual GYN exams, affordable prescriptions, and a great professional who actually takes the time with me.  it’s been years (7 to be exact) since i’ve had that. i worked hard to pay for this entitlement.

it shouldn’t be rocket science for poor people in this country, who paid into the system, or who would if they could, to get basic medical attention and preventive care.

so seeing a doctor is a privilege.

here is a disco chandelier, just because.

so, there i was, dwindling and pining away in utter despair in my bleak exile in the VOE, blah blah blah, read all about it in my previous whine-o-thon…

when all of a sudden, i found myself down a surrealistic rabbit hole talking to this person, who may as well have been an alien from another galaxy.  the language barrier was the first giveaway, and we spoke the same language.  sort of.  and every other possible cultural/social difference you could imagine.  but there was something there, beyond all the gaps, that kept us talking…and talking, night after night.

next thing i knew, we were talking long term, and i was on a time machine traveling back in space/time to where Ohio plods around its mind-bogglingly slow orbit.  i thought i felt alien in the Vortex, but that was nothing, which is saying a lot for me.  talk about culture shock; i think i’m still getting over it.  and yet…during our trial week inside our own little space-pod, Plan B from outer space was conceived.  so back to the vortex i went, to make it so.  easier said than done.

and that’s all i have energy for right now, so your cliffhanger will continue to hang…stay tuned for the next ambiguously gay episode.

here are some bong-like things from another world.

so, how did i get from caregiving for my parents in NJ (the Vortex Of Evil, aka VOE) to medieval Ohio, you ask?  long story.

short version: i did my time, five long years, having lost everything, with no end in sight, and no foreseeable future, and then this very strange thing happened.  a totally unexpected Plan B materialized before me, and after lots of agonizing, self-examination, and negotiation, i took it.  the end.

that’s the very short version, which leaves out all the psychodrama, so i’m going to leave you cliff-hanging in suspense until the next chapter, whenever i get up the energy to elaborate.  but i said i would try to write something every day, so here’s your something.

meanwhile, here is a lovely fungus for you to enjoy while waiting.

once upon a time, there was a young transgirl.

if you have to ask, go do the homework.  i did the HW (being clueless like most folks), and it led me to a whole new world.  well, not new for transpeople, who have to endure this strange alienation from the time they become conscious of themselves and their difference.  anyone born biologically not their true gender will tell you: don’t try this at home.  this is not something anyone would ever choose, or wish upon anyone. it’s traumatic, to say the least.  it’s a long, arduous, lonely, expensive journey.  that’s the short version.

so i found myself in a weird online underground, getting a whole new education so i could be informed and supportive of a young transgirl in this parallel universe.  never did i imagine it would take me on this amazing, surreal trip out of my lonely exile in NJ onto this unforeseen fork in the road.  life can be very strange indeed.  you could never plan something like this if you tried.

long story short, i met someone.  someone completely opposite to me in every way, and yet… here we are, living together in medieval Ohio, with a whole new unexpected second chance in front of us.  but that’s a chapter for another day.  stay tuned, if you dare.

yeah, i was going to try posting once a day, but i guess the pump is primed.  so much to tell, and who knows how little time.  i think it’s worth telling, but you be the judge.

here is a photo of my cave.

can it possibly be two years since i last wrote?  so much has happened in that time that i can’t begin to recap.  but my son and daughter-in-law have inspired me to come out of the shadows and flex my keyboard once again.  let’s see what happens.  if i can even recall how wordpress works.

i guess i’ll just start at now, and eventually work my way back.  live in the present, not the past.  the future has a silly habit of getting shorter all the time, so no time to waste on the wasted past.

here i am in–Ohio!?  long story there, but it’s (thankfully) only a temporary waiting room on the journey to our (another long story) final destination.  i don’t recommend Ohio as a final destination to anyone, but that’s just me.

today, at this moment, we (i’ll get to that later) are awaiting word on our house bid in Maryville, TN.  i realize out of context, this factoid makes no sense at all.  just suspend disbelief and hold that thought.  trying to stay in the moment here.

i always imagined myself as a writer, not that i can write.  they say you should exercise your literary muscles by just writing or posting something, anything, daily.  actually, i have a lot of backlogged material, but not the articulating skills to go with it.  i know one thing, though: i’m tired of listening to myself whine angstily–is that even a word?  it is now.  that’s how the english language evolves.  make it up as you go, and it goes viral, and suddenly it’s a new part of speech.  anyway, angstily we roll along (using it in a sentence).

it’s crazy–i feel like i could fill a whole book with what i’ve been through in just the last two years (since i escaped my exile in the Vortex Of Evil [VOE], and yet i can’t EVEN begin.  if you don’t know me, you would never believe me anyway.  if you do, it’s old news.  if you’re me (which you’re not, thank whoever), you just get bored rehashing the same old history.  and yet, in my (unbiased, of course) opinion, there’s a REALLY AWESOME BOOK here somewhere, just waiting to be written by not me.  any takers?  i didn’t think so.

well, there’s still time for that.  meanwhile, we have a house in TN somewhere near my awesome son and family just waiting to become ours, and mental muscles to flex daily, starting NOW.  feel free to ignore or throw tomatoes, as the mood dictates.

here is a picture of shiny pipes.