Scenes from our erev.  That’s an orange pecan raisin cake with orange glaze,  peanut stir-fry noodles, sweet and sour chicken, and Victory!  🙂

Hello.  My new name is Skully!  It used to be Skelly, if you recall.  You can see what this transition has done to me.  But I’m still…undead!  Please join me in a Victory toast.  L’chaim!

Today E got her new driver’s license with her correct name and gender on it!  Even the mugshot is right!  Then she changed her car insurance info.  We sent off the forms for her birth certificate and pension/benefits.  Now it’s just a matter of making business calls/visits, and waiting on official documents.  People have been surprisingly accommodating, for a change.

As complicated as all this bureaucracy may sound, this is just the grand finale to a lifelong upstream battle to transition, medically and in every other way, in an obstructive, discriminatory culture.  Anyone making this journey should know that it is not easy nor for the fainthearted, and not something you choose lightly or at all.  You do it because there is no other option.  You wouldn’t wish this upon your worst enemy.  You count the cost, which can be extremely high, not just in terms of dollars, but in loss of family, friends, home, employment, health coverage, benefits, credit, and rights.  Some days you’re just hanging on for dear life.

On the lighter side, she did it.  And now I must adjourn to my rightful place, the erev kitchen, to prepare a victory meal, with a side of victory libations.  Perhaps even a Victory V-bar is in order, yes?  Cheers!

Our dear fellow constituents,

Thank you for all the good vibes, you know who you are.  Something actually went without a hitch, for a change.  E’s old alias is a thing of the past, and her new name (need-to-know basis) is official.  We’re still in a daze.  All that’s left to do is some follow-up paperwork with all official parties.  And the best part–it appears that she can even get her new name and gender change on her birth certificate, something we are especially relieved about.  Now all her records and background checks will reflect her accurate identity, not send up red flags.

After the court hearing–in and out, no problems, a happy moment(!), we took care of paperwork at SSA and the health department, then headed to (where else) Yellow Springs for a small celebration.  Our usual tavern was still closed for renovations, so we ate at another favorite, Williams Eatery.  Then we stocked up on some liquor and some fancy coffee beans at the Emporium, and came home to fill out papers and drink to it.  Tomorrow we make the changes at the DMV, send official forms, start making the necessary business phone calls, and wait for documents to get processed and sent.

This is like a miracle, after all the setbacks and disappointments.  Now she won’t be humiliated every time she needs to present identification or do business.  The major transition is behind her; now we just wait to rebuild her credit record and savings, and move on.  Thanks again to our loyal, supportive family and friends.

Meanwhile, back at the test kitchen, E created this yummy pizza from scratch (including the crust), with lots of fresh veggies.  It tasted as good as it looks.

We are trying to psyche ourselves up for the probate court hearing tomorrow, and all the related name change business.  We’ve done everything right, and it should be routine, but we can’t help being nervous, based on all the other ‘routine’ business that has been sabotaged for E because of bigotry and ignorance.  So wish us well.  If all goes smoothly, the false old birth identity will be officially retired.  Now if only stupid Ohio would allow the birth certificate to reflect her true ID accordingly, and make life a little easier, but that’s a lot to ask of an unenlightened conservative state.  One step at a time.

Hopefully by tomorrow this time, we’ll have a relieved announcement to make.

This post is as close as I come to a ‘selfie’.  what can you do, I’m an Aquarian from Saturn.

Sometimes (I confess) I read other people’s astrology just for fun, and I find there are insights to be had.  It helps me make sense of others.  So just to be different, I looked at mine, since that time of year is approaching.  I find most of it to be very accurate.

I don’t feel comfortable just conforming and settling for the way things are.

I’m always thinking and trying to envision better solutions.

I’m never satisfied or comfortable with the humdrum status quo.

I despise anything superficial or banal or mundane.

I dislike sentimentality or melodrama.

I resent being controlled or dictated to, because most of my misspent life was like that.

In many ways I never stopped growing or became petrified like my peers, and totally relate to changing ways and tastes of younger generations.  Music is never static, and neither is anything else.

I never want to just stop thinking and give in or give up.

I crave intellectual stimulation and challenge, and get bored easily with less.

I’m very fascinated by all social issues, and anyone who advocates for and promotes civil/human rights.

I especially feel drawn to those who are marginalized or persecuted.

I never feel like I know enough or create enough.

I have little patience for people who are mentally lazy, tedious, or don’t want to improve themselves.

I’ll never feel resolved until I find whatever it is I should be doing to make this world better, not just exist and die.

I do tend to stand back and analyze and assess people before jumping in, but at the same time, I welcome human interaction and dialogue, as long as it’s intelligent and constructive.

I highly admire those who think for themselves, have a vision and pursue it, promote justice and compassion, never stop growing, and refuse to become mindless sheep.  I wish I could be like that.

However, I must insist: my planet is Saturn.  It will never be Uranus, nor anyone else’s!     😛

The view outside was—White!  More snow on top of snow.  We’re totally ok with being snowed in.  Nothing out there to force us out.  The only pressing obligation this week is E’s official name change court hearing on Thursday, a long-awaited event worth braving the weather for.  Then all the related name-change business (SS, etc.), a tedious but necessary process, and then a modest celebration, if all goes well.

I heard shoveling and glanced outside.  Just like last year, a couple of neighbors, a black guy and white guy, were clearing our whole driveway and sidewalk, and others’ as well, without having been asked, and without stopping to request payment.  Once was just a weird fluke, but twice is no coincidence.  Apparently they are just being decent neighbors, go figure.  We debated offering them what little we could spare, worried they would take that as a signal to keep coming back for more, but then we went ahead and did so, with thanks.  You have to admire their entrepreneurial spirit!

It’s one of those little insignificant things that are big things, especially being two older women living together,  isolated, in a poor working neighborhood, where half the houses are empty, in a conservative-leaning area.  No way we were going out there to shovel in the freezing cold, while still recovering from the nasty bug.  Just a small, decent gesture, every year, by folks we don’t really know.  When you’re just struggling to live, you appreciate stuff like that.

The view from our apartment:

Here is E’s latest creation: a baked frittata incorporating leftovers and lots of veggies.  Heheh, my evil scheme, etc…

David Bowie was born five years before me, and yet his life and work became iconic and eloquent for at least two generations beyond mine.  He had such an impact on this world that it seems impossible and even unnatural for him to be mortal.  He made it ok to feel different, marginalized, nonconformist, gender-ambiguous, fantastical, and so many other non-approved things, way before its time.  He’s definitely up there in that pantheon of artists that made huge impressions and differences in personal lives, and will live on in communal memory.  Some people just age and sputter out, but if you gotta go, I say do it like Bowie and go out like stardust.  Three generations of my own family  and friends mourn his loss.