I have one simple request.

If someone is female, identifies as female, has struggled her whole life to match her gender identity, and qualifies in every way possible as female, PLEASE respect her wishes to be referred to in the feminine.

Imagine how you’d feel if someone kept calling you “he” when you’re a “she”.  Now add decades and thousands of dollars spent trying to correct the horror of being born with the wrong anatomy, being hated and discriminated against, losing everyone you care about, and finally reaching the other side, only to have people still disrespect your gender identity, whether ignorantly or intentionally.  Believe me when I tell you I’ve witnessed how deeply that hurts.

Sometimes the mistake is honest; it takes a while in this world of gender role stereotypes to understand and correct your misconceptions.  You get thrown off by misleading signs like a lower voice that can’t be remedied, or vestigial tendencies to be good at mechanical things, something society still expects of men more than women.

Or maybe the mistake is one of carelessness, or indifference.  Either way, it doesn’t take that much conscious effort or inconvenience to you, to remember to be respectful and not hurt someone.  It’s just common human decency.  If you slip up, please apologize and refrain from repeating it.  If you’re not sure, ask.  It’s that simple.  It doesn’t need to be a big political drama or personal affront.  If you want to be respected and treated civilly, do the same for others.

Thanks for making this world just a little more livable for everyone.

One year ago today E and I were in Philly for the surgeries with Dr. Leis that gave her a new lease (pun intended) on life, after all the anxious years of waiting.  Hence, a re-birthday!

To celebrate, first we checked out the local farmer’s market, and then visited our good friend Ron who owns The Birdcage, a little antiques consignment shop downtown.  We do a lot of friendly business with him, so it seemed only right to drop in.  He’s one of the few people around here who get it.

Next, we hiked through Glen Helen.  It was a perfect breezy cool day.  Finally, we adjourned to a pizza place we like in Yellow Springs.  Not a bad way to commemorate a major event in our lives.

Today was a beautiful sunny breezy day with big puffy clouds, the kind for getting outside and working hard.

E got busy scrubbing down our neighbor’s front porch and doors, in preparation for painting.  Meanwhile, I mowed the vast estate of our two yards put together.  The other neighbors, on the other side, the grandkids of the demented elderly woman who lived there, were also out cleaning up their yard, and I helped out and consulted a little over the fence, which was cool.  We all have this kind of conspiracy going on: if we all help each other out, clean up, and take pride in our little section of the world, maybe the other deadbeat neighbors will get the idea and clean up their junkyards!  (Probably not, but at least we’re setting a example, getting along, and possibly raising the property values.)

E and the other lady continue to work through their grieving process together, in between cleaning.  They both suffered extreme family abuse, dysfunction, and no support or understanding when they needed it most, so they have a lot to talk about, which is good for both of them.  It’s very synchronicitous.  Both of them were abandoned by their own families, and then we all happened to meet just at the right time, like a surrogate family.

This is where the hummingbirds come in.  E has a spirit-thing for hummers, and it turns out this lady, and also the kids on the other side, have hummer feeders, too.  So I cleaned up and filled our friend’s nectar feeders, and we hung them from her porch and trees.  Lo and behold, instantly hummers were congregating around E, as they always seem to do!  We now have a Hummer HQ!  When all the hummer-flowers bloom, it will be a mob scene.

It was the perfect cool, sprinkly day for hiking through John Bryan.  It was like a jungle.  There was a lull between wildflower outbursts, but here and there were pleasant surprises, like bright red silene and pale blue tradescantia.  The river and springs were happily rushing.  There’s one place, a lush mossy hill with a spring flowing down it, where we always stop to drink the crystal clear spring water, one of the few places it’s safe around here.  I’m posting the photos in two groups, water and woods.

Here are some erev scenes around the place.  We’re having our neighbor over for Shabbat.  Shabbat shalom.

Here’s a glimpse of our humble but colorful abode.  E baked a cherry pie today!  The Skullies are keeping an eye on it.  (They were also eying my beer.)  The salad greens are exploding; we have salads almost every day, and I’m going to start sharing with the neighbor.  Also lots of flowers!  I set up a little hummer feeder, waiting to see if it gets any action.  The birds have definitely established themselves in the “sanctuary”.

Here’s more synchronicity: we’ve been talking about the pond we hope to set up in our future yard in TN, and then lo and behold, it turns out our neighbor has some molded urethane pond liners stashed away in her garage, that she just gave us!  It’s like a miracle!  They’re just what we’ll need, and you can’t beat the price!  Stuff like that is always happening to us.