I have one simple request.

If someone is female, identifies as female, has struggled her whole life to match her gender identity, and qualifies in every way possible as female, PLEASE respect her wishes to be referred to in the feminine.

Imagine how you’d feel if someone kept calling you “he” when you’re a “she”.  Now add decades and thousands of dollars spent trying to correct the horror of being born with the wrong anatomy, being hated and discriminated against, losing everyone you care about, and finally reaching the other side, only to have people still disrespect your gender identity, whether ignorantly or intentionally.  Believe me when I tell you I’ve witnessed how deeply that hurts.

Sometimes the mistake is honest; it takes a while in this world of gender role stereotypes to understand and correct your misconceptions.  You get thrown off by misleading signs like a lower voice that can’t be remedied, or vestigial tendencies to be good at mechanical things, something society still expects of men more than women.

Or maybe the mistake is one of carelessness, or indifference.  Either way, it doesn’t take that much conscious effort or inconvenience to you, to remember to be respectful and not hurt someone.  It’s just common human decency.  If you slip up, please apologize and refrain from repeating it.  If you’re not sure, ask.  It’s that simple.  It doesn’t need to be a big political drama or personal affront.  If you want to be respected and treated civilly, do the same for others.

Thanks for making this world just a little more livable for everyone.


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