This post will take a different turn than usual, because life suddenly got too real yesterday.  My dentist was working on the final stages of the implant process, which is very complex, and unexpectedly hit me with a huge bill that I couldn’t possibly pay now or ever.  (I had already run out of even enhanced dental insurance coverage for the year on stage one of the procedure.)  Long story short, my son came to the rescue on short notice and let me use his credit card.  I had never expected or intended for it to come to that.

I’ll save my tirade about how on earth can anyone, especially older people on a fixed income, afford dental care in this country, for another time.  I’m still too in shock, and trying to find a way to repay Avdi, which will take years on my income, while still managing to pay my basic bills.  Maybe I’ll have a few dollars left per month for routine medical or necessities.  I’m not exaggerating!  I’ll put off other procedures I need until next year, with new insurance.  Now would be a great time for a windfall, but we’re talking reality here.

Anyway, life happens and moves on.  I’m one of the fortunate ones.  I’ll just try even harder to earn my keep and not let this latest setback discourage me.  I just hate that it’s also another setback for my son, who has too many already.  This is not who I want to be.

OK, enough self-pity; here are photos, including E’s birthday, their penguins, and my chipmunk friend sitting for his photo just inches away.

These wet scenes are after half the water receded or was pumped out!  The water almost came up to the patio.  Access to the runoff stream is actually above the level of the yard now, so there’s nowhere for it to drain.  Welcome to Avdi’s part-time wetlands.

The little rock garden I was preparing for S turned out to have been previously claimed by Y, so we got that sorted out.  Sometimes it’s hard to make out whether the kids are actually laying claim to turf or merely considering it.  I have to work on our communication skills.

The neighbor lady and I have started exchanging plants over the fence and admiring each other’s gardens.  She gave me 9 elephant ears bulbs, and I gave her native coral honeysuckle cuttings to try to root and a few VA bluebell plants I dug up.  (My evil plan to take over the world with natives!)

All this gardening and walking got me down to a low of 121.5 for a moment!  My plateau level is now down around 123.  I know it’s obsessive, but it’s one of the few physical goals I can accomplish these days to feel less senescent.

These nightmares of mine should be banned.  They continue all night, getting more disturbed.  This one left me especially traumatized and mentally violated.  Where and why does my mind come up with all this psycho stuff?  There’s a point beyond which dreams no longer bring insight or closure (unless I’m that fucked up), and just abuse you and leave you in shock.  How’s that for a cheery morning wakeup?

In more positive anecdotes, it thundered and rained like an inch and a half overnight, on top of the inch the day before.  Rivers are rising to flood level, another common thing around here.  Avdi’s yard is constantly under water.  But the gardens are raised and just get watered a lot.  And it’s still raining.  Which is good, because I’m almost too exhausted to walk over.

Yesterday, besides the usual gardening, I turned off the heat pads under the remaining seedlings, and spaced them out.  I created a garden area for K, and he and I broadcasted mixed wildflower seeds, which I leaf-mulched.  I also started one for S, who didn’t want to be left out.  Then K and I sat on the patio, where he was reading Pride and Prejudice, and discussed computer electronics.

Later, I was walking home before it rained some more, when suddenly I heard something right behind me.  It was S, who had stalked me all that way without me knowing it.  It was startling.  I’m not sure what he had in mind–go home with me?  He’s a little over-attached at times; it’s worrying.  Avdi had to come pick him up (and drove me home while at it).

For a change of mood, here are the latest irises.

Erev preps were easy this week–no challah!  Also Avdi and I collaborated on dinner, so even easier for me!  Every Pesach features the same quote: “What will we eat?!”  Then we get extra creative and come up with yet another feast.  Matzah turned out to be more popular than we planned for!  Next year–double the boxes!

Predictably though, the kids are losing patience with no bread, cookies, real pizza, baking, etc, etc, and we’ve cut some corners on restrictions, or you could say, gone Sephardic kitniyot all the way!  I could write a book of all the versions of “The Four Questions” I’ve tried to answer for the kids!  Call it a teaching week.  Though maybe a shorter week [sacrilege!!] would prove just as effective if not more!  In my humble opinion.

I’ve gotten a lot of gardening done every day.  I’ve been hardening off more of the seedlings and planting them, plus adding more direct-sown seeds where needed.  I’m trying to make as much creative use of the limited space available as possible.  It looks like plenty of space, until you start filling it!  It’s more of a community garden this year, with everyone participating and requesting their own areas for favorite plants.

The local critters are getting more used to me always being there.  The robin, sitting on her eggs in the nest she built over the spotlight on the back porch, now just sits there when I’m around.  The chipmunk who lives on the back porch sat for minutes while I got a shot of him/her basking.  So far I haven’t seen many rabbits, fortunately, so the tiny seedlings get a chance to root.

I forgot to mention in all the bustle the “miracle” at my final perio procedure.  They were going to mistakenly charge me another thousand plus that I didn’t owe, because of a typical disconnect between the insurance co. and the dentist’s office.  Somehow the final insurance check got misplaced!  It had taken hours of my time and theirs to get to the bottom of it, but I was persistent, and it turns out they may even owe me money!  So that was a big relief, considering what I pay for enhanced dental coverage; another thousand dollars would have wiped out my tiny savings.

Anyway, back at Avdi’s Farm, I’ve been busily planting and cultivating, too much to itemize.  I’m steadily transplanting seedlings and direct-sowing as well.  Wherever plantings haven’t done well, I’m filling in with others.  Elsewhere around the yard, I’ve been making improvements.  I know Avdi would love to have the time to help work on the garden, so I’m trying to make a special effort to manage that aspect of things and make it functional as well as spruced up for him.

Meanwhile, the naturalized perennials and native flowers and plants are thriving without any help from me.  It’s like a paradise this year, probably from all the rain and mild temps.  The kids have really taken an interest and gotten involved in understanding how all the native plants and wildlife have evolved to work together in a network, and need each other to survive.  When we work with and not against nature, we’re ensuring our own survival as well.

Here is a brief photo summary, from chametz-burning, to hurried Haggadah planning session on the patio, to literally some of us under the table, to next year in freedom and justice for all victims of persecution and genocide.  Plus lots of cooking and preparation in between.  It was unconventional and lively, considering the participants, but a success on every level.  One seder was definitely more than enough!

The seed potatoes arrived, so yesterday I got them prepped and in the ground just in time for it to pour.  In keeping with the theme, I made potato latkes to add to all the leftovers, and set the table as if for a second seder, just to keep things festive.  Then the rain let up and I walked home to my decidedly non-festive minimalism.  (All the Pesach food and amenities are at Avdi’s!)

This occasion warranted a rare selfie of the (self-appointed) Presider Over Beer bringing this event to order!  I even made an amusing attempt at badminton (fortunately not pictured).  It was a perfect cool spring day, which naturally led to roasting things over a fire.  Lots of friends of all ages and persuasions showed up in waves throughout the day.  E made wonderful banana oat cookies.  I had spent the night, so I could get up and help set up.  I stayed until evening, then walked home, exhausted.

Just to back up a little, I spent erev preparing for both Shabbat (the last challah for the week), and Pesach.  It’s not as complicated when your family circumstances necessitate keeping to the spirit, not the letter!  The “Raging Sages” might turn over in their dusty graves, but our reality tends to keep things simple and prioritized.  Just the constant war on hametz (i.e. all the non-Pesach food debris left behind by four savages) keeps me busy!  But we will have the basic essentials, including my formerly undefeated charoset (sportingly conceded to “Uncle” Robert.)

I leave you with some peculiar clouds after the last “tornadic” storm.

I spend some time every day at Avdi’s, though I took a short “break” to have the next step of perio implants open-mouth surgery .  The final stage is coming up soon!  I’ll be much poorer but much happier.

Most of my garden work right now is maintenance and occasionally adding new transplants as it gets warmer.  And of course there’s always housework to do.  And Pesach preps to start.  Avdi’s work and life continue to be extremely exhausting and frustrating, so I try to find more ways to help, or at least not make it worse.

Yesterday evening we had an impromptu dinner (beef and choice of fresh veggies) cooked over a fire (by Y), with varying degrees of success/crispy cinders!  K mowed the lawn for the first time this year, in preparation for our first official B&B on Saturday.  I lingered hanging out on the patio with drinks, then walked home before it got too dark.

The overnight while A&J drove to Indianapolis and back went smoothly and without a hitch.  No meltdowns, just everyone getting along and self-regulating.  Lots of gardening got done, including planting asparagus, adding herb transplants, starting E&Y’s raised beds, and extreme hoeing.  I didn’t even notice when A&J got home, I was so absorbed in discussing Y’s garden with them.  Avdi seemed very reprieved.

Another erev Shabbat accomplished.  It was a perfect spring day.  Avdi and Jess worked in the office, while I worked on homey stuff.  The challot came out spectacularly fluffy.  A and I got to drink negronis out on the patio.

S was having a particularly extreme meltdown, probably from being overtired.  Some of the tactics suggested by his autism specialist do seem to help a little.

I walked home in the beautiful spring evening, but will return tomorrow to spend the night so A&J can go to a concert in Indiana.