While I was home for a few days, S went back to school and immediately got suspended again, just before Avdi was to meet with school officials (yesterday) to figure out where to place S to receive more adequate supervised education. Meanwhile, he’s home for five to ten days of moping around and driving A to distraction. Way to go, school system.
Yesterday I went over there to do erev preps as usual. S alternated between being happy, playful, and occupied, to suddenly out of nowhere, for no apparent reason, being seized by a fit of shrieking and extreme distress which nothing could calm. It especially happens when he has to go to the bathroom, which is almost always a crisis. When it takes over, it’s like he’s not there, and unable to control it. Then just as suddenly, he’ll come out of it and resume laughing and playing, as if nothing happened.
Today, without much prompting, S volunteered some thoughts and insights on what he thinks might be going on. He described quite articulately a disconnect between his front and back brain, in which a sensory or mental overload takes over and his higher brain functions can’t help him control it. In the bathroom scenario, he imagines a threatening entity in there with him, violating his strong need for privacy. It turns out he has similar fears to my recurring extreme bathroom nightmares, involving his privacy being invaded, in his case by this dark presence. If he can distract his mind with thinking about creative interests, it’s not so severe. But if his mind goes blank, the fears take over, and he’s totally out of control. He says it’s not about physical discomfort or pain.
We actually have some good talks about life in general. I’ve noticed he’s not repeating the same phrase over and over or hesitating as much to get to the point. And his points seem more coherent and insightful lately. When he’s not reverting to infantile or agitated behavior, which escalates as he gets more tired and stressed, it’s like having a mature conversation with a gifted mind. As he trusts me more, he allows and displays more affection and confiding. Hopefully he’ll be placed in a school with more capable people trained to help him manage and channel his reactive, destructive behaviors into positive, productive learning and empathy.
Shabbat preps went smoothly. I got whimsical and made six “personal challot” this time, which the kids loved! The meal was pleasant, and then it was snowing! The kids and I went out to play, throw snowballs, and E and Y made gigantic balls for a snow person. The snow was so wet and heavy, they couldn’t lift it. Later E made hot chocolate for everyone and we watched “Barbie” again. Then back outside! Avdi and S drove me home, where I slept in like a zombie until almost noon!
