So hey, I’m not a “once-a-year” Jew (those who only go to High Holiday services, kind of like xmas christians). I didn’t go! I watched some of it streaming at home, so much saner. Actually, none of us went, because Avdi is sick (and tired)! Also we neglected to reserve seats ahead, owing to the unpredictability and distraction of our lives. Also so much calmer this way.
It’s nice to belong to a congregation that won’t judge us on that, or on how adequately ostentatiously we dress, how much we donate, or how well we conform. In fact, the excellent sermon by R. Randy was all about how the “ger”, the stranger in our midst who is to be welcomed and not excluded, is anyone, Arab or Jew, trans or cis, gay or straight, black or white, foreign or American, or any marginalized “outsider”. Fortunately, at CRC this is literally practiced, not just lip-serviced.
The band was pretty nice, too! Not much danger of dying or falling into a coma during the service.
Yesterday I baked the traditional round challahs with raisins, and made a festive meal that almost everyone seemed to like. We didn’t play “musical chairs” over the seating arrangement. Everyone seemed to be getting along as well as possible. S wasn’t melting down over the usual triggers. Y was making an effort to be less contentious. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think we may be past the initial upheaval of adjusting to a new life, and starting to fall into more structured routines.
Not to say we’ll ever look like the “average, well-adjusted” myth, which is also a good thing. These kids are precocious and unique, and shouldn’t be forced into molds that don’t fit or work, such as we were as kids. Having realistic, consistent expectations that adapt to changing or updated situations is healthier, more pragmatic, and peace-keeping. (For example, Sat. night is traditionally pizza night, no matter what it says on the Jewish calendar.)