It’s about time I got my act together and get back on this wagon! I’m a little dazed and lightheaded from this prednisone (speed on steroids!), but the rash seems to be fading, and I even got back on some semblance of normal sleep and eating. Not quite ready for the laps yet. More like a lapse thereof. I did some pre-Pesach kitchen cleaning and sorting, though.
Back in my old life, I’d be living half-outdoors by now, just grokking the fulness and reveling in ephemerals and micro-signs of new life. This unnatural, sanitized lifestyle was the price I was willing to pay for the freedom of choosing life over resignation. I would never take it back. It’s just another form of adaptation for survival.
Still. Some days I’m like a caged critter, going a little off in the head. Even tame dogs can’t stay sane in a cage indefinitely.
I know long days in Avdi’s garden are still ahead of me. And probably other people’s gardens as well. The opportunities are there, if I can just get myself back. These setbacks threw me off, slow me down, but I won’t let them set me a new lower bar or benchmark. If anything, it makes me more determined to overcome them. I just need to pace myself. After all, I have to build up energy reserves for the coming Gkid invasion, the other reason I came here.
I almost wonder if all these mysterious symptoms could be partly an effect of decades of neglecting my own health and sanity to caregive for everyone else and their baggage, and the resulting backlog of stored tension and anxiety caught up with me in the form of physical ailments. So moving here was a chance to catch up on my rehab, before I jump back into the caregiving game. Just conjecturing.
Like I said, lightheaded. Just indulge me.
Here is hydroponic sage and basil going berserk, and a scene from yesterday evening kicking back with the Skullies. You could call it “Sage and Spirit” (for all you DeadHeads).