has it been a year already since my Teacher died? it boggles my mind that she could die. some people just should not die, it’s wrong! bad-wrong! but there it is. (miss you.)
i also notice that my last post, way back in february, was also an IMO. is that all i write about anymore, death? you’d think so. it’s like an occupational preoccupation!
oh, and while i’m at it, the one-year anniversary of dad’s gravestone unveiling just happened. (plus the annual yahrzeits–death anniversaries–of two grandparents.) aren’t you glad you checked in?
down in the dungeon, in the cask of amontillado room, with my faithful closet skeleton hanging out to keep me company, and other poe-esque décor, i’ve been stashing boxes of yard-sale junk, and cleaning out decades of filth and crap. yes, that’s how i keep busy! but at least i can go out in the garden and breathe relatively less toxic air, and not get shot.
meanwhile, my zombie of a mom just stands in her dark bathroom, staring. but at least on drugs she no longer wails ‘die die die, i have to die today!’ over and over…
it’s not morbid, here…
see what you’re missing by not reading this blahg? it’s like a poe wonderland.
this is actually me being in a slightly better mood. it’s hard not to notice how crappy and violent the world around me continues to get, and how good i’ve got it, just by virtue of having happened to be born here, and not in, say, syria. the world is one big game of chance. there’s no sense or predictability. one day you can be going along, conducting your life, and the next, the bottom falls out and the world is going to pieces. so i can’t really complain if mine is merely depressing and anxiety-laden, instead of apocalyptic. it’s all a matter of perspective.
well wasn’t that informative? until next time…