I gave E the “talk” about passing on the garden torch STS.  I apologized for being so territorial. He understood how it’s my one “thing”.  I gave him a whole pile of seeds to experiment with–flowers, herbs, and veggies.  He immediately got to work on the “secret garden”.  Later I found a covered flat started on a heat pad under lights downstairs.  I’m glad I can be an influence for good, and learn to let go.

It was such a gorgeous cool day, after storms last night.  I hoed the whole veg garden by hand, then planted four kinds of cucumbers.  Loucious played frisbee with E, K, and me.  Avdi went out for the evening with Allie, while I stay late or overnight.

My dreams continue to be disturbing.  I feel like I’m being faded out as I’m aging and dying, while others move on with their lives.  Like I’m becoming invisible and being shut out, so I need to shut down first.  But that’s a trap, and I won’t give in to it.  Even if I’m alone.  I know how to do alone.  I just escape to my dream real life, and be who people need me to be while I’m still around.