I noticed I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t write or post yesterday.  Could there be a cosmic collective overload on certain days, where it’s just too much for everyone?  Yesterday must have been one of those days.  Probably Jungian or something.

Not that today is much better, but I thought I owe it to my loyal readership of 2.1 to be consistent, and keep to my resolve, so here I am, FWIW.  I wish I could find some good news to report, but every day brings a fresh load of shitstorms from the WH, if that were possible.  The best thing I’ve seen lately is Andy Serkis as Gollum reading trump tweets to Colbert!  A perfect rendition of that addled nutcase known as the “president”.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, we’re just biding our time, trying to stay sane, hoping our little hopes.  Maybe that’s all anyone really does, bottom line.  Somewhere out there, plants are enjoying all this rain, so that’s something.  My vegetative brain can relate.

I wish I had more to share, to raise spirits.  The truth is, there is a lot to be discouraged about in the world right now.  It feels like a Black Mirror marathon that you can’t get away from, it’s so surreal and disturbing.  I envy people whose illusions haven’t been shattered yet, in some parallel world.

But as I’m realizing more lately, nothing is a given or guaranteed.  Even if you bust your ass for it, pay your dues, vote, advocate, fight, dream, whatever, in the end it’s still a random, arbitrary universe.  A privileged few have the power and call the shots, whether they deserve it or earn the right or not.  May they get their justice.  I still hold onto a weak faith in karma, as illogical as it may seem.  There have to be some consequences for such evil and corruption.  Maybe I still have a shred of idealism left.

As for us mere mortals, we’re still alive, and get to live another day, hoping that all our efforts won’t be undermined once again.  Having a lofty purpose or vision for your life is a privilege of the more fortunate–I hope you’re one of them.   But when you become disillusioned, you find the little things like breathing, surviving, mundane pleasures, and small hopes are not to be taken lightly or for granted.  If you find a fellow human to experience them with, it’s more than many people find.

Each of us has to work out our own life as best we can, with as much integrity and humility as we can muster.  Comparing yourself to others’ so-called successes and coming up short will only hurt you and discourage you.  Regrets will kill you–take it from one who knows!

Each day you wake up again is a chance to re-evaluate and start again.  It may be from scratch, but you have to start somewhere.  Some days (most days for me!) you won’t know what the hell you’re still doing here or supposed to be doing– that’s called being human.  You’re fooling yourself (or braindead) if you don’t sometimes question and challenge yourself.  But you can’t let it drive you crazy (like I do)!  Sometimes you just have to do your best under the circumstances, and keep going.  You don’t have to like it.

This is me being “optimistic”.  It’s as good as it gets right now.  Mostly I’m talking to myself.  It’s a kind of therapy, like gardening (before the hillbillies from hell took that small pleasure away).  But if it happens to amuse or console someone else out there, all the better.  My evil plan is working.