M-day: an artificial construct that brings out the best and worst in people.
E lost her whole family, whether to death or abandonment, and can no longer have a relationship with her mother, kids, or grandkids because of their hate and ignorance. M-day for her is sad and lonely.
I had at best an ambivalent relationship with my mother, who now barely recognizes me. Today is kind of empty in that sense.
On the other hand, I have a son whom I love, respect, and miss, and grandkids, same. With all his worries and work, he still remembers me on M-day, and I am fortunate and proud.
E and I had great hopes of being a part of their extended family, together at last, and still plan to move down there, even with a new, unexpected twist that we hadn’t factored in. Never take anyone or thing for granted, that’s all I can say. So this particular M-day holds a lot of mixed feelings, confusion, and sadness.
Of course, many people have lost their mothers, and have to sit this day out, or hope their families think of them. All in all, days like this can be fraught with emotional landmines. Most of us are putting on brave faces, covering deep loss and grief. We were all once children, caught in the middle, lost in the shuffle, falling through a crack of someone else’s turmoil or unhappiness. We try to forget it, move on, but there’s always a price. It’s sucky conditional human life.
I’m very thankful for what I do have, considering the pain I see all around me. The trick is to keep making the necessary adjustments and adaptations, and put the best face on it you can. Not an easy task. Just when you think you can relax and take a breathe, life happens again! The price of being alive and human. Oy.
So honor and celebrate mothers, but be mindful of all the lost souls struggling without mothers or children, especially on a day like this.