My day yesterday started on a good note, as I finally, by a stroke of luck or inspiration, was able to schedule the ride to the dentist I need, to do preliminary procedures, in order to proceed with the other dental reconstruction project I’ve had scheduled for early January (it will take at least a year to complete).
Then I got to Avdi’s, where S was on extreme hyperdrive, almost like on drugs. All day long he was racing and hurtling around, glomming onto me, and not getting worn out (though I was). But in between manic frenzies, he and I had some interesting, serious talks about him, as he gains some insight into and can articulate what scares him and impels him to react so explosively. We even discussed some possible strategies to help himself feel more secure.
The kids were a little sad that Chanukah was ending (mainly no more tchotchkes), but erev preps and the meal went well, beginning with E and I reciting the blessing over the candles. It’s becoming a little tradition of ours. Y and I were getting along. S even ate some dinner! Then everyone was in and out all evening to their various activities. S and I played and talked and watched videos. When he’s not imploding, he and I are surprisingly on the same wavelength. He can sense when I’m arriving before he knows it, and I can often read his mind.
I actually slept well there, for a change. I don’t even remember my dreams, which are usually surreal and disturbing. S also slept long and hard. When I finally got up, everything was quiet and S was a little calmer.
Then Avdi told me that E had requested to go to CRC services today, but that Jess had reported having a very vivid, distinct dream, almost a premonition, about a synagogue shooting. Of course that’s not far-fetched, especially right now with the Israel/Gaza war. I was very worried, and urged them not to go, but in the end, E’s good intentions won out. S and I actually said a little prayer of sorts together, sitting on the kitchen rug like a prayer rug. Jess came over and took me home, where I watched the service streaming, and even saw A and E dancing.
Ironically, the Torah portion and R. Randy’s talk had to do with Joseph’s dream interpretations. He pointed out that the Hebrew words for dream and window are similar, and that dreams, though disturbing, can be like windows into what’s really significant and needed. Anyway, the service proceeded peacefully, which was a relief, and many elements of it undoubtedly spoke to E.
All in all, an intense couple of days, but definitely a learning experience. Now I’m at home trying to absorb it all.