Processing a big change has many layers and facets.  It will take me a while just to absorb and accept the part about my son moving on, and to all intents and purposes, out of reach.  But wait, there’s more.

And now to the next level–I won’t get to see my grandkids even after the pandemic, as they’ll be visiting my son and eventually living with him hundreds of miles away.  It’s not as easy for me/us to just up and travel and stay there, even for brief visits.  One more way the pandemic disrupted and interrupted the little time left I would have had with them.  By now I’m probably fading to a dim memory of better times gone by.  Maybe it’s better for them that way!

It’s a good example of why each of us must seize and treasure moments with loved ones while we can, because there are no guarantees.  Never assume anything.  It’s a hard lesson to learn, even after a lifetime.  Best laid plans, and all that…

I can’t really talk, because I did my share of moving on and out of loved ones’ lives in my younger days, and maybe karma is coming full circle.  Or maybe we’re just living in an increasingly mobile, mercurial, mutating world that can change in an instant.  You either adapt, or die.

So I guess I’ll learn to accept, if not embrace, this too.  I know somewhere out there, my son and gkids will be living and thriving, which is itself a comfort not to be taken for granted, especially in this century of deadly viruses and manmade disasters.  Coming from a history of holocausts (Nazi, nuclear, etc.), and the nightmares they still generate, I’m constantly aware of how good I have it right now, and how in an instant it can all be destroyed.  Seriously, that’s how my mind works.  It sounds morbid, but it helps me keep perspective.

I can’t change the past, and the future is unknowable, so I’ll continue to live and learn in the present, doing my tiny part to restore our parcel of the earth to a more wildlife-friendly environment, and try not to add harm to the world.

I’ll be here growing things, if anyone needs me.