Erev happened amidst much to-ing and fro-ing like rats on speed.  (The actual rats just sleep in piles for much of the day.)

All the scheduling, coordinating, and frequent shuttling required of Avdi daily is mind-boggling.  Not to mention the constant worry over one of the kids having a mental breakdown in their own private cirque de solipsism.  Reminds me of a line from The Police, “Darkness”: “Life was easy when it was boring.”  Life is never boring.

Outside it’s gorgeous and colorful.  I’ve included the squirrels photo, even though my phone has a worse case of cataracts than me apparently, because it would have been a great shot.  As with my chippy friends, they were not moving at all, nor was the camera.  I wish my phone would do the same to my few selfies, but NO, those unfortunately are in focus.  So random.

Speaking of phone, I was temporarily without it overnight, because it slipped out of my pocket while I was absorbed watching a musical performance at the HS Courtyard, featuring E’s a cappella group.  There was some real talent among the high school singers.  Avdi, Allie, Jess, and I sat outside around a little fire that wasn’t even necessary, it was so beautiful out.  (They retrieved my phone later.)

The days have been mild and springlike so far in Nov., perfect for walking, working, and enjoying nature do its work without my help.

The house was unusually empty all day, just right for my devious cleanup projects!  I doubt they even noticed when they came home.  The office is somewhat restored to order, as is Y’s rat cave.  Now if only Avdi can find affordable, accessible solutions for the kids’ mental/physical health, and thus be able to work in peace to afford it all, that will be the ultimate order.

A’s partner Allie has been in town from TN, so that helps with his own mental health for the moment.  She has been assisting remotely with his/kids’ medical/healthcare business and scheduling, taking a lot of the load off him.  I stuck around in the evening so they could go out to dinner.  Later Jess brought us frozen custard (a food group in STL), and took me home.

This friendly little chippy was happily sitting right in front of me for multiple photos, but my poor refurb hasn’t quite gotten the idea yet, so forgive the blurriness.  It’s starting to get flowers, at least.  It will be assimilated.

Things on the home front have been further complicated by trumpian attacks on national healthcare, so even more stressful, but if recent elections are any indication, a crack in the regime is widening.  There may be some hope for this stupid country yet.

All I have time to say this morning is a qualified “there’s still hope for our country”!  (I know, don’t get hopes up too high, but this is a good omen.)

Yesterday I shoveled out the Eldritch Narnia that was Y’s closet, almost the same volume of artifacts as in the room itself.  I finally sorted it all and returned the room to a semblance of order (for the moment).  I also exercised the rats in their playpen, which S enjoyed.  Later he got to help me return them to their cage, which he loved.

That was his final night here.  Today Avdi is taking him to do the halfway exchange and bringing K and Y back.  Sadly, the deranged dictator got to Michigan first and frustrated their plans and hopes, so we have to find a plan B.  If it makes us angry, imagine how the kids feel.  I can’t wait until these criminals are utterly destroyed.

Yesterday we saw Stacey, K, and Y off on their mission to Michigan.  S is staying behind for the few days.  He seems much more self-regulated and well-adjusted.  He kept himself entertained all day, and had a friend over for hours, playing outside for much of the time.  Avdi was able to work at home undisturbed, and I had my work cut out for me.

My rat commission allows me to go in Y’s dumpster of a room and make some sense of it, and it was a nightmare!  Avdi and I got some before-and-afters, and it really was the hazmat from hell.  It will take me the three days to sort it out, but I made good progress.  The rats mostly slept through the shoveling, laundering, and disposal.

Later on we had a very abbreviated charcuterie meeting.  E consented to come out of hibernation for a few minutes.  S’s role was to eat.  Jess joined us.  Later, her sister Rachel came over with rum and coke, and we watched a “scary” Brit movie.  I got bored and played with rats.  They love me now.

I “lowkey” enjoyed hanging out with various components of the family, the ones who weren’t hiding out in their room full of existential angst.  S and I actually “lowkey” had a fun time together.  (I’m practicing using “lowkey” slang in a sentence.)  Of course everyone was in and out all day, doing this and that, with Avdi as shuttle-master.

In the evening, E and K went to their high school “friendship” or homecoming dance.  E wore his suit and tie, and K wore a cute skirt and tights.  Sometimes all the extreme transitions are hard to keep up with!  The rest of us hung out together waiting for pizzas to finally find us, and gaming, and talking about things.

Y finally came out of hiding and snuggled up with his mom for reassurance.  He’s trying to “lowkey” not get his hopes up for this quick trip to Michigan tomorrow and back Tuesday, along with K, for healthcare purposes that can’t be addressed in MO right now.  E will go later, after his latest drama performance of Romeo is behind him.

For their sakes, I hope they accomplish their objectives.  Sad that parents have to travel out of state to get affirming care for their kids.  Also that essential healthcare costs have risen so high as to be inaccessible to most people, including us.

While Y is gone for a few days, I get to rat-sit and S-sit!  It means something that Y entrusted me with entering the smelly holy-of-holies.  It gives me an excuse to straighten up a little.

I got the clever idea of using the rats’ discarded litter shavings on my latest raised bed project.  It doesn’t go to waste, and adds organic material to the pile.

St. Louis has its own unique Halloween customs, dating back who knows how long.  One really charming custom is to gather at little bonfires along the streets for trick or treating after dark.  Some streets even block off traffic and have a sort of quiet block party.  It’s very neighborly.  This year the weather was perfect, sunny and not very cold, and very pleasant at night under a bright moon, with lots of t-or-t-ers.

Stacey and S are in town for a brief kid exchange, so erev dinner and Halloween coincided, with lots of shifts and comings and goings.  S and I had a fun reunion.  He’s taller, and seems calmer.  He’s now back in a regular school, and seems to like it.  There was a lot to catch up on.

I made the challah sweet, with spices.  Dinner was Asian-style fish, jasmine rice, and fresh greens from the garden.

E and a friend joined us for a while and then went to a party.  Stacey took K to an appointment, then they rejoined us.  Avdi took Y to a party, then S out trick or treating.  I got to hold down the fort with Stacey and K, and hand out treats to kids of all ages (some treats may have been consumed by us).  Another custom is to tell a joke in exchange for treats, so there were a lot of bad jokes!

This amazing thing happened during the day while S and I were hanging out–a couple of young deer strolled right through the front yard!  I even managed to catch some photos.

It’s hard to tell some days if it’s just the darker, damper atmosphere, or the demoralizing crimes against humanity affecting every aspect of our lives, or all the above conspiring together, but it makes me feel sad and angry and pointless.

I struggle against the incapacitation and sense of helplessness.  I’m fighting the fear of fading out or losing self-sufficiency.  I’m angry on behalf of all the people this dictatorship is set on destroying.  I can barely support myself, let alone donate to essential causes.  There has to be some sane justice in this world.  I’m just not seeing it.

Anyway, life goes on, and you try to find ways to really live and not just survive, even when things look bleak.  Just like the rest of the natural world does, with or without us.

The rain continued intermittently.  Here and there in the cool gloom there are little jewels of watercolor.  The air is misty vapor.  It seems to have decided on being October for real.  I did some cultivating and reseeding in the veg garden, since the wet soil was almost workable.  Mostly I did indoor chores, and made dinner.