I really, really intended to go volunteer tomorrow morning.  I was 2/3 of the way convinced I could overcome my driving and navigating nervousness to go help with a worthwhile job that I have the skills for.  Even when it turned out to be a renovation, at a different address than I had assumed, not the farm or garden, I was ready to do it.

But then, and here’s the really lame excuse, plumbing facilities at the site are not quite up and running yet.  That could honestly be an issue for me.  Between all the above anxieties, I reluctantly let them know I couldn’t make it, but still want to volunteer on future projects.

I know, it’s the very thing I was talking about earlier, white privilege.  Think of all the centuries of Black people being denied basic needs and amenities that whites take for granted.  More to the point, these renovations in N. city can mean the difference between people having a roof over their heads and infrastructure, or going unhoused.

The mayor and city gov have done pretty much zilch for the communities devastated by the tornado over a year ago, or for the other ongoing basic needs, so it’s up to the communities themselves, with volunteers, to do the dirty work.  And here’s me, with my good intentions but lame excuses, like I might very possibly need facilities.

I haven’t given up on volunteering some of my time and skills for these worthy causes.  I need and want to do this.  I know I’ll need to overcome some of my obstacles initially, and then I’ll have the confidence to do more.

I feel pretty bad about this.  I just don’t want to arrive on site and become a liability, not part of the solution.  I got my momentum started; now I just look for the next opportunity that I can reasonably fulfill.  And the ones after that.

Have some fall flowers to distract you from my sorry self!