Chanukah with Avdi and the kids is my best one yet.  You can guess from their faces, they were getting into it, too!  It’s a real teaching moment, because they have so many questions about their Jewishness.  The gifts may just be a minor concession to xmas, but the delight in lighting candles together, opening their little gifts and gelt, playing dreidel all evening (trying to find the “loaded” gimel ones), and enjoying Chanukah latkes for Shabbat, were priceless.  It also brought the kids together without outright warfare, for the moment.  I think they and I got closer, too.

I think I misspoke about them getting calmer, though.  The more consistent quantity time I spend there, the more I witness more of those extreme meltdowns over seemingly negligible incidents.  I see how Avdi gets so chronically exhausted.  At the same time, I get to observe and learn appropriate methods of dealing with them.  Working with ND kids, helping them learn to handle and manage their overwhelming reactions to sensory, emotional, and social difficulties, is a longterm process.  You’re building trust, and modeling how to function and cope in the real world.  There are no shortcuts.

Gotta wrap this up and head back into the fray–bearing more small tchotchkes, of course.

Does one’s first yeast bread count as a coming-of-age milestone?  If so, E (13) just achieved it very successfully.  It’s a simple but perfect Italian style loaf, crusty on the outside, soft on the inside.  Mazel tov!  You could call it a…Bread Mitzvah!

The kids are still experiencing emotional distress and transitions, but I do see progress.  In general, they seem a little calmer, more secure, and affectionate, at least when I’m there!  I think they save the worst of it for when I’m not!

The other night, after Avdi and Jess went out (together, for a change), S went right to sleep, the others did, too, and I actually got some sleep, which is rarer these days.  NyQuil (for my hellcold) sometimes helps!

Yesterday, (after catching up on more sleep), I made myself walk to the antique store and dollar store, to finish buying Chanukah gifts for everyone.  It’s amazing what you can find in an antique store.  Between online and local shopping, I’m done, and stayed within my tiny budget.

I think I’ve gotten two things right in my forgettable life: I had Avdi, and I moved here to be with him and my grandkids.  I hope it makes up in some small way for all the bad decisions I’ve made.  I guess they’ll be the judge of that.

Welcome to my new world of cancer benefits!  It seems once you’re pronounced dying of the Big C, everyone starts being friendly and concerned.  Just being old and poverty-stricken isn’t enough; once you enter the exclusive C-club, you can actually get a few minor perks to help you afford to stay alive.  A nun even helpfully called me–that was a first!  She actually told me I need to get more friends so they can drive me to doctors?!  Plus when the news eventually leaks, your Gkids suddenly love you!  But I exaggerate; it’s all good.  I think they were already warming up to me.

Since the last time I wrote, we had S’s official birthday party, and Shabbat.  I even got to go to a middle school play.  I baked a peanut butter and jelly cake for S, some new and familiar friends came over to party i.e. get a sugar rush, I slept over, and cleaned and baked challah and made Shabbat dinner.  I’m going over there again tonight, so A can get to go out.  Why do I even bother to come “home”!  Oh yeah, to catch up on sleep!  Throughout all this I’ve had the cold from hell lingering for a week, which is not fun, but y’know I’m a Jewish martyr, oy.  Plus Avdi has one of my favorite bourbons, er, medicinals.

Here are some festive shots.