Magic 8-Ball Dreidel and Other Chanukah Miracles

Since nobody knows what the hell dreidel game rules are supposed to be, and they never work anyway, I’m always inventing my own.

Here’s my latest: Magic 8-Ball Dreidel.  It took me all of Chanukah to come up with this obvious function of a dreidel.  You ask the Magic Dreidel something, say, a political forecast question, spin, and it uncannily predicts the future!

Here are sample rules:  Gimel=Yes, Nun=No, Shin=Shit happens, and Heh=How the hell should I know?  I say sample, because the rules are constantly changing.  You can make up your own, as one does.  Try it, it works!

Speaking of miracles, the COVID vaccines are science, but the fact that scientists could develop and start distributing some this fast, despite all the obstructions by trump and cronies, seems like a fitting Chanukah miracle, in my humble opinion.

Isolating may have dampened the festive spirit a bit, but couldn’t snuff it out completely.  That’s the beauty of a minor historical holiday like Chanukah–it’s meant to be enjoyed quietly at home, with family if possible, not turned into a commercial feeding frenzy of stampeding zombies.  It’s a simple, uncomplicated commemoration, without all the unrealistic expectations and letdowns.  So it’s sad when it ends, but it’s not the exhausting expensive ordeal we see all around us.

Here are last night’s seven lights, and tonight’s eight.  Happy last lights of Chanukah 2020!

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