Two Steps Back

We got back from a very encouraging, positive reunion with my family in TN, feeling like there is still hope in the world, and what do I find waiting for me but a letter from Social Security informing me that I’ll be even poorer in 2017.  Instead of the $801 a month I’ll get (finally raised a whopping 2 cents from $799 for “cost of living”), I’ll be getting $667 a month after they deduct Medicare Part B (medical insurance) premiums.  Those don’t even cover a Part D drug plan, which my Medicaid won’t cover.  They don’t explain how a person already living on less than the cost of rent alone is supposed to afford to survive on even less.  My anxiety level was not helped by this.

I feel like it’s pointless to have any hope or optimism, because the system will see to it that it’s snuffed out.  It’s not like I sat around all my life and then collected welfare.  I worked as long and hard as I could, paid my taxes into SS/Medicare, took the hit during the crash and recession like everyone else, and now I can’t count on even enough to live on.  And I’m one of the fortunate ones.  I found a friend I could share meager incomes with just to keep a roof over our heads.

So of course I had to have one of my typical holocaust nightmares (no thanks to my Jewish heritage).  They were rounding up all the children in trucks and killing them, then the grownups.  I was on the latter list, and there was no way to escape.  On the way to my death, I happened to see my son, and told him I was going to be killed.  He just sort of shrugged (he wasn’t on the death list yet).  That’s how my night went.  I feel so discouraged.

We went over to the local SS office (no, not that SS, but it feels like it) today to see what’s up, but it was so crowded, we had to leave and try again tomorrow.  I doubt I’ll get any reassurance.  They’ll just assure me that I am indeed screwed.  If I try to inquire at the local state office whether I qualify for any help, they just snarl at me, like I’m just another welfare case.  This is the country Repugs want to make even more awful.

Sorry, I meant for this to be a very upbeat TN report, which I promise the next one will be, complete with photos of our wonderful visit with my family in the mountains.  I just needed to get this out.  Here are the Skullies to wish you a happy Chanukah.


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