What is a storm fern?!  It’s a dumb name for a winter storm!  Which is coming.  Hiber Nation says Blah.

I forget if I mentioned that I don’t plan to do indoor germination of seedlings this winter.  It’s just more practical, because I can’t always get there to do maintenance, which the others are too busy to do, and also the pantry staples have taken over the basement.

So it turns out Y is germinating some perennial flowers in the small space left!  He proudly pointed them out to me, and I’m proud, too!  It’s contagious!  We concurred that they could go around the outside of the veg garden, which is what I had been thinking myself.

I’m all ranted out for the moment, except to say, there’s a reason ICE has been sighted in STL but not so much in suburbs like WG.  Just in case, here is a copy of your rights in an encounter with ICE.  No guarantees, because rights are meaningless to mindless terrorists, but the burden of proof will be on them.

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What to Do if You Encounter ICE in Your Community

1. Do NOT interfere. You can observe and document from a safe distance.

Credible rights guides emphasize:

– You have the right to observe and film ICE in public as long as you don’t interfere.

– Stay far enough away that agents cannot claim obstruction.

– If you’re unsure whether the people are ICE, call 911 and report suspicious activity. Describe what you see, not what you assume.

2. If YOU are stopped by ICE

These steps align with national Know‑Your‑Rights guidance:

– Stay calm. Turn off the car. Keep your hands visible. Say clearly: “I am a U.S. citizen. Am I free to go?”

If they say yes:

– Turn the car back on.

– Drive away slowly and calmly.

Passengers:

– Do not speak.

– They have no obligation to show ICE any ID.

Driver:

– You must show a driver’s license to police, not ICE.

– If ICE demands it, say:

“I will show my license to local police. Please call them.”

Never consent to a search.

Say: “I do not consent to a search.”

Repeat it calmly if needed – rights guides emphasize this exact language.

Do not fight or escalate. Compliance for safety + verbal non‑consent protects you later.

3. If ICE is in a parking lot, workplace, or public area:

– You can film from a safe distance.

– You can alert others – whether that’s a whistle, a text chain, or a community signal.

– You cannot physically intervene.

A whistle is the best choice – they’re loud & a non‑escalatory alert system.

4. Should you film with a phone or a small camera?

Many organizers recommend a separate small camera because:

– Phones can be seized or searched more easily.

– A dedicated camera keeps your phone free for calling 911 or livestreaming.

– Cameras often have better zoom, letting you stay farther away.

5. What documents should YOU carry?

Rights guides do not require U.S. citizens to carry proof of citizenship. With that said, you may choose to carry:

– Passport or passport card (strongest proof)

– REAL ID (not proof of citizenship, but accepted ID)

– Tribal ID (ICE has a history of wrongly rejecting them – filming and witnesses matter)

– Birth certificate (not ideal to carry daily, but some people keep a copy in their glove box)

You do not have to hand over any of these unless you choose to.

6. The real questions you’re asking your community to do:

– Will you film?

– Will you alert others?

– Will you stay calm and assert your rights?

– Will you prepare now instead of panicking later?

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And now back to “Waggish Dogs”.  I’m carless today, so we’ll see if I get up the nerve to make the trek.  The HiberMeter is leaning toward “meh”.

In my “NonComplicity” post, I missed the point of my own post.  I sound like what I am, a clueless white person.  Someone with the privilege and luxury to stew over my inaction in my mostly white, relatively secure (for now), environment, and then go about my business.  Whereas, Black, indigenous, and immigrant people of color continue to just survive and struggle against the same persecution and violence they’ve been enduring for hundreds of years, only perhaps more escalated and in our white faces (literally) at this moment.

The layers of conditioned racism go deep.  For many whites, their protest is performative: look, I’m woke, I was there, being an “ally” for a day/week/whenever I could get away from my normal routine.  I’m not pointing fingers, because I myself am not even doing that much.  I’m just pointing out the huge gap between two realities.  The fact is, most whites have never really lived the reality of being in danger and deprivation for decades, centuries, because of color alone.  Then we have the nerve to come along and think we can make up for it by being all kumbaya and chivalrous like a white shield or something.  Then we go home feeling good, while they continue to die or get dragged away, only more so.

Again, this is just me listening to what savvy Black people are saying, and recognizing the conditioning in myself.  I have the luxury of sitting here mulling over what I could possibly do to “help”, which is a bit paternalistic (maternalistic?) in itself.  As if I, from my white privilege and suburbs, could ever really comprehend the daily reality of being of color in this country, and be forced to endure it, not just volunteer to show up sometimes.  Even my holocaust legacy is third-hand, though the generational trauma still exists to remind me how hypocritical and complacent some of us can become once the tables have turned.

That’s why, as Dr. Stacey Patton and others eloquently point out, whites couldn’t “join” the new Black Panthers, even if we wanted to.  It’s not an inclusive tea party with quaint rules of etiquette.  It’s not a performance and then we go home, unscathed.  It’s not about us!  I was around for the original Black Panther Movement, and believe me, it’s not for white yoga soccer moms.  It’s fierce, because it’s when all else fails and life under racist fascism is intolerable.  People will die.  When the BPs return, you know whites have allowed racism to go too far.  Things will now get serious.

Just the fact that some of us are just now learning how deep and engrained racism is in our own lives, says it all.  How naïve and sheltered we have been.  We’re definitely late to this “party”.  People of color are the new majority and the future of this country, as it should be.  It scares our criminal racist “bosses” to death, as it should.  May they get what they deserve.  Karma’s a bitch.

Last night I got to see the HS version of the musical “SIX”, since it was so good Avdi and others decided to see it a second time.  Mr. Schaefer does it again.  K was doing spot op, and various friends were in the cast and crew.  These kids are really super-talented.  And the background band was excellent.  The costumes were fabulous.  The audience was very engaged.  I guess we can all relate to a delusional, misogynistic king.

I spent the night so Avdi could get out.  If there was any emotional kid drama going on (seems there was), I wasn’t in on it.  I stayed up late reading a book, and may have gotten some sleep.  At one point Loucious may have been allowed up on the bed, but not all night.

It’s been seriously frigid out.  I fell on black ice going into the HS last night, but it’s just a superficial knee injury, nothing serious.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like in Minneapolis, where hundreds or more protesters are standing against ICE illegal violence in the freezing cold (and using ice to their advantage!).  Nature itself (with a little help) is fighting back.  It’s revolting when citizens have to defend themselves against a self-anointed psycho-king and his terrorists in 2026.

I’m back in my hiber-mode, thanks to still having the car.  And my new driver license in which I somehow look 10 years younger, go figure!  STL has been good to me.  I hope if the necessity arises, I’ll have the courage to help defend my family and adopted home in any way I can.

This post is going to sound self-absorbed or self-excusing, but I’m just trying to self-examine.  Please bear with me.  It’s winter, and I can’t garden.

I follow several Black thinkers and educators, and some recent posts and threads got me thinking.  In a people’s resistance and uprising against this fascist takeover, what calling or role could I possibly assume?

Some would reach for the guns, which isn’t me (though I might fantasize about it).  Some demonstrate and protest, but I wonder if that only brings down more gov scrutiny and violence, which tends to be aimed at innocent people of color and immigrants who are just trying to stay under the radar.

Some confident and extroverted people become political leaders and activists (again, not me).  Some, more informed and articulate (and less nervous) than I, make calls and write letters that I suspect get ignored by these power-hungry repug so-called reps, or go door-to-door (scary).

Some get actively involved in or support community orgs that fight injustice and help victims, which is difficult for someone (me) without consistent wheels or any money.  No doubt some people are already taking in and sheltering immigrant neighbors and other marginalized refugees of the system, if they can.

The fortunate few are just saying fuck it and moving to a saner country to ride it out or just be done with the whole apocalypse.  Or at least enabling their children to move somewhere safer.  As long as such a place remains.

It’s fair if you think I’m just making excuses for my inaction.  Complicity is the last thing I want to be accused of, considering the historical implications.  But what role am I adequately equipped to play?  If push came to shove, would I have the guts to do what needed to be done despite the risk?  Or would fear incapacitate me?

I have to believe my revulsion at trumpian evil and injustice would prevail and incite me to action.  There is no other option.  But in the meantime, what am I doing to push back against the wrongdoing and damage?

This isn’t just rhetorical, but I don’t have answers at the moment.  I’m not looking for reassurances or indulgence.  I just want to  find out how I can be of service that will actually be part of the solution and not just make things worse or do nothing.  Until then, I’ll just keep writing my thoughts; working to create a beneficial microhabitat in which nature gets to live another day and help sustain the earth, with or without us; and being open to new sources of insight and perception.

Did you know you can comment on my Blahg?

Today was like a constantly revolving door of comings and goings all around me, to the point where I gave up trying to figure it out and just did a modified erev grab-and-go.  I did bake challot, but no one had time to try them!  I made wraps, which I did try.  Mostly I was being assimilated by Locutus of Borg.  Call me “4 of 2”.  Everyone but me went to a HS musical; I bowed out and went home.

First, a word to anyone reading this in another country or saner world.

Most of us detest and oppose what is being done to our country by MAGATS.  It’s monstrous, all the militarized fascist brutality and injustice being enforced upon all of us, especially marginalized people who have no recourse.  Considering the genocide and slavery our country was built on, and the racism and hate that continue, it’s not a complete surprise, but it’s terrifying all the same.  Many of us feel helpless to stop it, but some of us will not stay silent or complicit in the face of another holocaust.

We hope you who were once allies will understand we the people don’t all condone this criminal insanity.  Some like me, without any resources, feel powerless to take action and make a difference, but those who can are building resistance and preparing.  We do not support this depraved lunacy.  Please don’t write us off.  Thanks.

Ok, now that’s covered, back to dogdom.  Last night I stayed late while Avdi and Allie went out to dinner.  Mostly Loucious [aka Locutus of Borg] and I camped out on the sofa together.  At one point, Y and I had a little talk and worked things out.  Happily, Joyce dropped by for a little while and joined us, and made a doggy friend for life, especially when L realized she spoke fluent German!  Also, K’s friends showed up for MTG, and gave L even more attention.  L loves everyone.  Eventually he fell asleep on the sofa with me, exhausted from all the partying.

I always feel badly about dwelling on my own petty mishegoss (look it up) when the country and world are under attack by lunatic gestapo thugs.  I can’t garden to take my mind off things, despite it pretending to be spring, and I can’t just hibernate like a sane person.  The reality around us is so grisly and grotesque, it’s hard to look away, like serial murderers on a rampage, out of control.

I still have the car for another day or so, so I have no excuse to be a slug!  I’m even considering finally getting some provisions, now that I got “paid”.  I signed up for remote counseling (supposedly free through Mercy), which starts today, so I have to stay conscious.  Blah.  My exciting life.  Plus there’s Loucious to think about.

We’re still weighing the pros and cons of keeping Loucious.  There are a few cons to consider, but nothing that couldn’t be worked out or overcome.  Meanwhile, his absolute adorableness and intelligence are very convincing.  Just look at that frisbee face!

Allie is visiting from TN for a week, minus Billie the Dog for various reasons, but Loucious is filling in for her adequately.  Hopefully Allie’s presence will help cheer Avdi up.

It must be my bad karma coming back at me.  I can’t really argue with karma.  It’s like nature’s justice.

When I was young, my grandmother came to live with us for a time.  She was like a demented alien from another world to me.  I didn’t like her, and avoided her.  Of course I didn’t understand why she had to be there.  Eventually she had to go to a nursing home and die.  That was a grownup problem that didn’t affect me much.  Actually it was a relief.  Was I a sociopath, or just a pre-teen, or is that synonymous?

Now I find myself somewhat in the same position.  I try to be present and of use, but sometimes I think I’m just in the way, taking up space, being tolerated.  GKids are amazingly talented at making you feel irrelevant!  From their point of view, you’re just a fading relic, and they’re the present and future, which is technically correct.  And it is their house and their turf, after all.  Can’t argue with kid-centered “logic”.  They probably don’t even realize they’re being rude.

As the supposed “adult” here, I know it’s probably not worth taking personally or taking offense.  I’m pretty sure I usually take the higher road and be considerate, whether it’s acknowledged or returned.  I try to resist passive aggression and be the bigger person.

I think certain triggers revert me right back to that terrible time, my childhood, when my existence consisted of constant fear of rejection, punishment, not fitting in, and trying to be invisible.  Flash forward to today, and sometimes I feel either invisible, or in the way.  To be clear, no one is consciously or intentionally making me feel this way.  It’s partly just a corollary of aging.  But also I think I just react and relapse into defensive flee or freeze mode.  Or something shrinky like that.  Then I just have to go reassure myself that it’s just mistaken perception on my part, I still have a place.

So to not keep generalizing, I greeted a Gkid returning home as usual, they completely ignored me as they often do, but then barked “Nomi, move!!” in a nasty tone (I was clearing dirty dishes from the counters to the sink).  Again, I know it was probably just one of their typical “atypical” moods, unrelated to me personally.  But it threw me back into feeling out of place and in the way.  Not like when the kids are partying and gradually move into all the rooms left to retreat to.  That’s fine.  This is like questioning my own relevance and usefulness in being here.  So I relapse into ghost mode and make myself scarce.

I know this sounds like making a big deal out of nothing, which it probably is.  I’m just trying to sort it out.  Bottom line is, I want to be worthy of all my Gkids’, if not respect, then just acknowledgment.  Not that they owe it to me, but I’m trying to earn it.  Not sure if that’s possible, or if I even deserve it, given all the bad karma.  Anyway, I’ll be back as usual.  I always want to be there for my son.

I’m very proud of my grandkids tonight.  All of them had separate parties going on: E had multiple parties elsewhere, Y had several friends over, howling like a dog opera in his room (middle schoolers!), and K had herds of friends, upstairs and downstairs, in every room, playing various games, baking, and eating pizza and snacks.  I didn’t even attempt to count heads.   The thing is, they were all nice and polite and intelligent.  And K did a great job prepping and hosting.  It’s good to see all the kids making so many nonconventional friends.  It’s like a queer, neurodivergent safe house.

Most of all, I’m proud of my son for providing such a welcoming place, despite the fact that he’s severely depressed and overworked.  Both he and I didn’t have anything like that growing up, so it’s good to see him making sure his kids and their friends can feel secure and comfortable having a place to be themselves.  He even trusts them enough to hold down the fort while he goes out for some personal respite time.  That’s after wearing himself out cleaning, repairing, filling, and preparing to cover the pool for the winter, lugging the last of the heavy sukkah poles into the woodshed, shuttling kids around, and other chores.

Last but not least, Loucious was in his element–so many people to welcome and love!  It was mutual.