I got back in the traces, or harness, or whatever you call it, today.  I planted some new cilantro seed.  I tried again to hoe the concrete posing as garden soil, and discovered it really is like an impenetrable clay slab  just below the surface.  The hoe just bounces off it.  So I gave in and got out the rototiller, and managed to break it up into fragments and finally a thin layer of dust over the solid clay floor.  No wonder everything has such a hard time thriving and producing.  But I won’t be deterred.

More challenging than that is not being able to eat or drink normally because of my crater.  I didn’t even stay to eat the dinner I prepared for the family.  And I didn’t accompany them to one of my favorite places, Global Foods, but for a different reason–no money for food.  Man I’m pathetic!!  But the weather was perfectly gorgeous for working and walking, so I did accomplish something.

So now I have this open bloody excavation in my mouth.  I’m not allowed to drink alcohol for 7-10 days (the horror), or really bad things will happen.  Also I can’t eat most foods, only ones I don’t have.  Maybe I’ll finally lose weight.  I have another dental hygiene routine I get to add  to all the others.  I need a drink!  Just kvetching.  I still think modern dentistry is amazing, but not amusing sober.

Here is SlimeGuy.  It’s also how I feel before the dental drugs wear off.  ‘Nuff said on that subject.

I’m not supposed to do anything “normal” today, so here are yesterday’s attempts at focussing.  Can’t look a gift phone cam in the mouth.  Just like you can’t look in my mouth right now, not that you’d want to.

Yesterday I worked on cleaning up half the veg garden, including pulling this nice pile of green onions and leeks.

I’ve learned from sources who know that the reason MO soil turns out to be like cracked concrete, no matter how much organic material or water you add, is the same reason there are so many brick buildings—clay.  Lots and lots of clay.  It’s baked!  I can’t even hack a hoe into it.  So it’s not just me, it’s everyone.  Somehow I don’t feel better.

Sometimes I find myself outside the loop of the family’s ongoing emotional roller coaster.  I hate to see Avdi going through so much turmoil, but feel inadequate to help, even if I knew the details.  Just “being there” doesn’t seem very effective, but it’s all I can do sometimes, so I show up.  Later, I leave, feeling like a shadow.  I know it’s not about me.  So I’ll continue to show up and be there, and hope it makes a difference.

On a lighter note, something tells me Halloween is up next, at least going by the neighbors!

Y had friends from camp over for a sleepover, and guess who slept?  They did!  I, as resident “grownup”, couldn’t!  Go figure.  But that’s OK.  I’m glad Y has like-minded friends to hang out with.  At one point, they were all quietly doing crafts and singing in the office.  That was worth the disorder left behind.

As for me, here’s how I amuse myself: a magical lightshow in the night garden.  I can’t get enough of it.  Also, the butterflies are almost in focus now!  This year’s garden really was a butterfly/hummer/pollinator/bird magnet.  Also the rabbit with little bunnies help me weed.  So one mission accomplished, at least.

Today, labor day, I slept in at home and indulged myself with a tiny food delivery–including the luxury of cheap booze!  I labored for it.