COVID has finally caught up with our little family group, specifically Avdi, and possibly all of us. We are all quarantining to varying degrees. I’ve been home alone for days; my being higher risk, he doesn’t want me to risk further exposure. I don’t like the idea of him suffering so close by and not being able to go help out. It’s part of why I moved here! But no sense everyone being out of commission. Fortunately he’s not alone.
Timing is never convenient, naturally. We did get to build the sukkah, only to have COVID come stalking, keeping us from enjoying it all during Sukkot. But happily it did get built and initiated, not a total loss. We’ve all been fortunate to avoid COVID up until now, and to have been boosted against it. It’s amazing it took this long.
I suppose one good side effect of being isolated at home is catching up on movies and shows we’ve missed out on or postponed. I’ve also had some online business to take care of, which always requires time and concentration. My brother Robert, who is undergoing an unpleasant treatment regimen for a form of leukemia (not fatal, just chronic), emails back and forth with me, which always puts things into perspective. With all he’s going through, he still saw fit to gift me with a very generous housewarming gift card, so I can order some much-needed household items.
Mostly, though, it’s weird to live so near my family here and yet feel so remote and disconnected except for online. I have to remind myself it’s just a temporary setback; soon we’ll all be back together. I have lots of practice being alone, or feeling as if I were. I’m actually pretty good at it! I know I’m not really alone, as so many oldsters are.
The only real challenging part is having to live indoors, with no garden or nature or cat. So unnatural! I feel like a caged cat myself! One more sign of having been so privileged, taking a yard and wildlife for granted. Maybe this is just the next level in my training to experience and empathize with the plight of billions of humans who will never have that luxury. I’ve had years of having access to gardens and cats, so this is just a new phase in my process of traveling lighter, can’t take it with you.
Still, it’s a hard one. I have to remind myself, what I’ve gained in place of this loss is so much more valuable. I get to reconnect to my people and self. What’s more necessary than that?