Mad World

Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very, very
Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what’s my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world, mad world

Written by Roland Orzabal • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management US, LLC

This song seems to sum up, better than I could, how it feels, looking around me at the friends and family who have struggled much of their lives, and will suffer even more going into the coming years.  It’s hard to be positive and cheery, but I’m trying to extract glimmers of hope from the current madness surrounding us in this country.

I used to take so much for granted, but not anymore.  I realize how insulated I’ve been from the real world of real people scrounging just to have basic necessities, never mind functional, caring families.  Maybe it’s just a conceit of privileged elites to think there’s more to life than just some grueling job that pays for a roof over your family’s head, then you die.  For millions, that’s a dream that is more fleeting all the time.  Higher learning and a profession you believe in are out of reach, not even an option.  Literature, history, the arts are for rich snobs who hire technicians to do all their dirty work.  The people I live amongst now are those technicians, if they’re lucky enough to even find such a job.  I see a lot of drug and alcohol abuse, AIDS and disease.  I see dysfunction, apathy, and despair.

Now, from this different vantage point, I feel like one of the more fortunate ones.  Though my friend and I were forced to retire early due to circumstances beyond our control, we have a roof over our heads, a tiny but adequate fixed income, food to eat, and modest prospects of moving out of this depressed place into a small home of our own, near family.  Many people I know are not this fortunate.

One good friend of mine (you know who you are) keeps having to downgrade to even lower income HUD housing as the rents keep increasing, and fears she’ll end up in a slum.  Her family cares, but are unable or unwilling to realize the gravity of the situation.  It’s the fate of many aging, disabled people in our country, who worked hard, were caregivers for their own aging parents, then were forgotten and fell in a crack in the system.  Affordable healthcare is also a real concern.  This state of affairs will only get worse under this new administration.

But trying to keep it positive… I’m fortunate to have found a fellow survivor to team up with, pool resources, and keep a tiny dream alive.  Most low-income people my age are screwed.  My family has been kind enough to accept us as we are, make my partner feel welcome and part of our family, and help us feel not so isolated.  But as long as I have breath and a sound mind, I will never ask my family to take on even more burden and cost to their wellbeing and livelihood, the way my parents did to me.

I suspect this will be the face of the new reality—unlikely, unconventional cooperative alliances forming between individuals with mutual needs that can’t be met by their own families or government any more.  So many more people will be at increasing risk of marginalization, persecution, deportation, poverty, and health issues, without the former constitutional protections and safety nets in place.  It’s up to us ordinary people now to band together for mutual support and advocacy.  I see this trend starting to happen in places like Knoxville, TN, and it’s encouraging.  Whether it will build, or just fizzle out, time will tell.

Well, that’s just me trying to hold onto a ray of idealism in a bleak world.  I don’t mean to be a downer at this time of year; lord knows we have enough of that.  We all share human losses and struggles in common.  Now is especially a time to hunker down together for warmth and mutual encouragement, not suckiness.  We can’t know what tomorrows we have or don’t have, so we need to make this moment, with the loved ones we do have, count.  Tomorrow is a bonus.

 

 

 

 

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