Out of the Mouth of Babes

In one of my last conversations with my grandkids, eight-year-old E made an astute, if typically blunt, observation: you weren’t here with us for years up until now, so we’ll all survive the separation now!  I had to admit she made a good, valid point.

Being eight, she was simply being honest and candid, not mean, as it might have seemed coming from an adult.  She had no way of knowing or understanding all the unavoidable circumstances that kept delaying our reunion.

Even some grownups seemed unable to comprehend or believe the series of unfortunate, very real events that prevented us from getting here sooner.  Timing can be a bitch, especially when you’re running out of it.

But looking back at the much bigger picture that my little granddaughter couldn’t possibly know, her statement takes on even greater validity.  My whole life consisted of a series of confused, misguided decisions and priorities that eventually led to estrangement from my whole family.  It took me decades to straighten myself out and take responsibility for my actions or lack thereof, but in the meantime, some damage was done, and consequences were set in motion that couldn’t be avoided.  I make no excuses for my lapses; all I’ve got is remorse, and honest attempts at reconciliation and reparations.

Life doesn’t make allowances for well-intended restarts, however; it just keeps plunging forward, unconcerned with mere humans crushed underneath.  Sometimes all you can do is accept reality, get out of the way of the grinding blades, and find a new way forward.

You have to keep it all in perspective; as I write, little children are still being wrenched from parents and grandparents and detained in cages in this country!  Maybe never to be reunited again.  Compared to that, what can I even say?

Merely that we don’t have the combined income to afford to visit my grandkids, and my son when he moves away, more than once or twice a year.  After years of separation, some of which could have been avoided in the first place by better life choices.

My little granddaughter unwittingly said it all.

 

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