The mood up on the hill was unusually quiet, almost pensive, like the calm before the storm.  The kids clearly sense what’s coming, and are holding onto their last moments here with their Dad and with us.  They’re asking the piercing, discerning questions about life and relationships, and trying to sort it all out in their minds.  They were extra affectionate and cuddly, and even the typical meltdowns prematurely fizzled out.

We actually made it through a movie together relatively calmly.  We all had fun playing, talking, and just being together for what turns out to be our next-to-last time.  After the customary chase scene (Avdi chasing kids throughout the house and around the deck to wind them down, always a hilarious time), even bedtime went fairly smoothly, although the kids needed more reassurances and soothing than usual.  We all feel the countdown acutely.

Despite the uncertainty and turbulence of this chapter in their lives and ours, or maybe because of it, I feel confident of one thing–it brought us all closer into a tighter bond, a connection that will last even when we’re separated by hundreds of miles and years at a time.  I feel pretty sure they will have fond, secure memories of us all together as a family, which will help them cope with the disruption and changes ahead.  I feel very sad that our time was cut short, but I tried my imperfect best to seize the moments we had, which I hope made a difference.

The months ahead will be rough for all of us, but at least I can look forward to spending more time with my son as he faces the next challenging chapter.  Maybe all of life is one big chase scene, chasing down hopes and dreams which constantly morph and shape-shift, and all you can do is catch the fleeting present moment.  Here are a few captured snapshots: