E’s computer finally bit the dust, just another last straw to add to the pile, so i’ll just talk about her while she’s offline!
december is a difficult time for her under the best of circumstances. her four-year-old son died this time of year, after a grueling battle with disease and disabilities. she had to be with him at all times, and no one in her family or friends helped or cared. when he died, she was pretty much alone with her grief and the arrangements. she had to bury him and somehow carry on, with no emotional support and bill collectors hounding her, right around christmas. to this day, especially during the holidays, she feels it the most, and still grieves alone. a sense of family and festivities is something other people enjoy, not her.
so she is very grateful to have my family accept and adopt her, but still not fully recovered from this loss, not to mention all the others she has sustained while transitioning. most people would be crushed into despair by all the adversity and discrimination she has absorbed, but she picks herself up each day and trusts that one day it will all be behind her. she doesn’t hold her breath waiting for humans to evolve and become more compassionate, because it doesn’t seem to be happening in her world.
time does not heal all wounds, especially that of losing your child, and essentially your whole family. a lifetime of abuse and deprivation is hard enough. but somehow she musters up faith to carry on. i challenge anyone to face the overload of crises she has, and not have a mental breakdown. i know i couldn’t. i’d be a total train wreck.
it does put things in perspective. that’s all i have for today.